The tour that I booked is finally over. It ended this previous Thursday. Good God, those last couple of months were probably the most stressful times I've ever encountered with that tour, among other things. In the Midst of Lions are incredible guys, all of them - ITMOL, All Or Nothing, In Separate Cities and Tristan Betrayal - all incredible guys. I appreciate all of them so much for going out on the VA Tour. (We're friends... if you ever read this, thank you, you guys are beautiful people.)
I started reading Searching for God Knows What by the notorious D. Miller for probably the second or third time this last week. That book (other than the Gospel) is probably the most influential book that I've ever read in regards to my spiritual "walk" ("Christianese") and overall forming of opinions about my relationship with God, and other people, for that matter.
Anyway, so there's that. And I've been learning some new stuff and re-learning some old stuff through that. Pretty much, I picked up that book because I don't even know where to start in the Bible, which is what I'd like to be excited about reading, but I'm just not.
Or, I wasn't. But I picked up Proverbs last week and I'm still not thrilled about it, but it's growing on me and honestly it's just completely stupid how relevant that book is when you pick it back up again. It's like - okay - what am I going to read? Pick up Proverbs.
Gain wisdom.
Listen to good counsel.
Pay heed to your parent's insight.
Stay away from the immoral woman.
Loyalty.
Accepting correction.
Okay cool then well how's about we speak directly and forcefully into all of the exact places that would probably be fantastic for me to learn about? Freakin' A. But you know I can't help but smile about stuff like this. I'm not a big believer in the whole "well for my personal Bible studies I just close my eyes and flip the Bible open and point and then read for five minutes from there" - but it was cool knowing that the Lord had something to say to me and he guided me there when I didn't know where to start.
So my car's broken down right now. I need a new battery, I think, but I can't afford a new battery, so I'm investing in used Craigslist bike tires and I'm going to get in shape which is a lot better than driving anyway. I am going to tour this summer. I don't know how. I want to pull a little hobo thing for a while and hitchhike around and travel - I think that I would just like to split, basically. I'm working on some new material and have talked to a couple people about throwing down some recordings for the demo (which I'm probably going to have to go into debt to do, but what artist doesn't, right?) and getting that out. Top priority. TOP. (Other than rent...)
Veil Arms is going well though. We have A Plea for Purging and whole bunch of amazing bands on that package this... uh... Tuesday. At Telos House. If ya'll would like to come down that would be fantastic. I'm really excited about that show.
So this poem came out of my Proverbs readings:
BE THE CHANGE...
...said vipers! tigers!
reassemble, rearrange!
(i long to live as a lion so i violently tuff up my mane)
oh high king of heaven,
my victory won!!
(but i could still taste the soot in my lungs
when that chorus was finally sung)
i called you so often, but you never came
i reached out to you! but you paid no attention
and as wisdom shouts out into the noisy streets
i will cusp my ears tight in stubborn pretension
("how terrible for you who lie awake at night, thinking up evil plans")
BARREL LOADED!!! (to your brother...)
Abel! run for cover!
if you tilt, i tilt your world in my hands -
take up my life with fraud and violence, and serpent i will meet your demands!
bag lady, you know I heard you sing and
(or rumor has it) you believed in me
...and december's finally set me free...
(but Mary! i've forgotten just what it means to breathe!)
and as she held baby jesus so very closely (to her bosom, to her soul)
i will cling tightly to my demons in the dark and imagine what it's like
to be
entirely
whole!!!!
singers, did you feel the ground shake beneath you
when your mustard seed fell deep in dark soil?
but i called out "TORTURE!" amongst the scoffers
(and though the ground is once more fertile)
i recoil...
...I RECOIL!!!...
and as his mother's blood begins to boil,
(and as we pollute god's lips with gin and oil)
i've ne're witnessed such turmoil
as when his heart reflected mine! (and, oh, on that note, my god died)
be the change!
said mother, father,
brother, sister, son, daughter,
i come to you (the porno pauper) with understanding in my open hands
and a tired knowledge in my eyes
(if this beauty is so sacred, how does it sell so fast?)
i still remember the first time i died ...
-and oh so unknowingly- gave it a second try
BUT LOVE IS PATIENT!!! LOVE IS KIND!!!
and somewhere amongst this mishap i was allowed to survive
be the change, said angels, demons,
reassemble, rearrange!
i long to live as a lion
so i study him studying me violently tuff up my mane...
reassemble, rearrange!
(i long to live as a lion so i violently tuff up my mane)
oh high king of heaven,
my victory won!!
(but i could still taste the soot in my lungs
when that chorus was finally sung)
i called you so often, but you never came
i reached out to you! but you paid no attention
and as wisdom shouts out into the noisy streets
i will cusp my ears tight in stubborn pretension
("how terrible for you who lie awake at night, thinking up evil plans")
BARREL LOADED!!! (to your brother...)
Abel! run for cover!
if you tilt, i tilt your world in my hands -
take up my life with fraud and violence, and serpent i will meet your demands!
bag lady, you know I heard you sing and
(or rumor has it) you believed in me
...and december's finally set me free...
(but Mary! i've forgotten just what it means to breathe!)
and as she held baby jesus so very closely (to her bosom, to her soul)
i will cling tightly to my demons in the dark and imagine what it's like
to be
entirely
whole!!!!
singers, did you feel the ground shake beneath you
when your mustard seed fell deep in dark soil?
but i called out "TORTURE!" amongst the scoffers
(and though the ground is once more fertile)
i recoil...
...I RECOIL!!!...
and as his mother's blood begins to boil,
(and as we pollute god's lips with gin and oil)
i've ne're witnessed such turmoil
as when his heart reflected mine! (and, oh, on that note, my god died)
be the change!
said mother, father,
brother, sister, son, daughter,
i come to you (the porno pauper) with understanding in my open hands
and a tired knowledge in my eyes
(if this beauty is so sacred, how does it sell so fast?)
i still remember the first time i died ...
-and oh so unknowingly- gave it a second try
BUT LOVE IS PATIENT!!! LOVE IS KIND!!!
and somewhere amongst this mishap i was allowed to survive
be the change, said angels, demons,
reassemble, rearrange!
i long to live as a lion
so i study him studying me violently tuff up my mane...
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