My lip rings hurt a lot...

I think that if they don't heal soon, I will take them out. This sucks. I don't want to take them out, but I don't want them to be ugly and gross and infected for the rest of my life, either. I tried to play this harmonica part that I learned for my set, and I can't do it 'cause my freaking snakebites hurt to bad. 

Me and my grand ideas. 

A good friend of mine is in town from - where is he in town from? I forget, but he's in town anyway and we're all supposed to hang out. I'm excited for that - hoping it doesn't turn into a huge party-sesh, but stoked to see him (and the rest of my friends, for that matter) nonetheless. 

I'm happy to be done with the week. My plan for the weekend is - make my mom and sister a birthday present. I don't have money for rent, let alone money for presents. It's a humbling feeling, not being able to get your own family presents for their birthday. Then again - I suppose it's pretty privileged feeling being an American that expects presents for a day of the year, too. (Which isn't to get myself off the hook - but I figure having food and roofs is a pretty cool thing.)

Now I just sound like an insensitive jerk. I think a lot of my words have been coming out nice and crappy lately - due to stress or irritability or whatever else. 

Sorry, world.

Sorry, God. 

Anyway - Flyleaf is playing in the background at the shop I'm sitting in. I go back and forth on these guys but they have an entertaining live performance, and Lacey Mosley wears those hot sunflower hippie dress things and spins in circles and is beautiful. 

I'm excited to play next week. That will be fun. Just finished reading The Heroin Diaries. That was crazy. 

I've had this chorus in my head all day:

I CAN SEE A LIGHT THAT IS COMING

FOR THOSE THAT HOLD ON

AND THERE WILL BE AN END TO THESE TROUBLES

BUT UNTIL THAT DAY COMES

STILL I WILL PRAISE YOU

God has to stretch you...

... in order for you to grow strong. 

Being stretched sucks. The strength at the end of the stretching rocks, but the fatigue is hard to get through. These last couple of months have bee godawful, but I feel that the Lord is preparing me, us, whoever, for something beautiful at the end of this tunnel. I was getting some work done at Heart & Soul on Tuesday (go get work done there), and Ericksen was talking to me about how it's when times are at their darkest that the brightest light shines. It's been a dark tunnel for the last couple of months. Pay has been... eh... nonexistent and work has been busier than it's ever been and I've been struggling with how to balance personal life and work life and am just now finding a thin red line to mark the barrier of what was becoming a dangerous schedule without any separation whatsoever. 

I wrote this song for the occasion:

MY GOD IS ONLY AS BIG AS I LET HIM BE

and I am not gonna limit my God with my disbelief

My God has always, always taken care of me

and I am not gonna limit my God with uncertainty

I DON'T HAVE MUCH!

(but it might amount to a mustard seed)

I pray for miracles (and then I breathe...)

I beg and scream for signs and wonders - 

and then my heart keeps its beat

You've got to go through the fire to be refined 

and there's a huge sense of helplessness in a hopeless time

I am Yours, and You are mine

(and we are one in a kind)

SO SANG THE BIRDS AND THE BEES

when I was not strong enough to sing anything

And if you care and provide for the least of these

then how much more do you care for me?

I DON'T HAVE MUCH

BUT IT MIGHT AMOUNT TO A MUSTARD SEED

And I have seen you move mountains

and command the winds and waves of the seas 

on a whim much smaller than me!

Singing:

GOD IS BIGGER THAN THE AIR I BREATHE! 

THE WORLD WILL LEAVE! 

AND GOD WILL SAVE THE DAY

AND ALL WILL SING...

MY GLORIOUS!

My Glorious!

So, yeah... one of these days I want to collaborate with a worship band - maybe like, The Glorious Unseen or something - and write a spoken-word-combined-with-worship-CD. I wonder how far out of an idea that is?

I wonder if they'd be down for it? I don't know. 

Anyway. There's that. I've got to get back to work. Just wanted to give an update and let you know I love ya. 

Levi

Okay so you're right, I straight up suck...

... at updating this blog. How many months have gone by since the last post? I actually forgot about this because I have two millions other things that I do and, in case you're wondering, no - I don't have a life anymore because I work too much.

Anyway, a friend of mine from California wrote me one day and said that she actually reads the things I post on here and that I should write again, and then I forgot again and now I just remembered. So, if there is anyone else that read this a while ago and wanted to know the exciting life of Levi... I apologize, because to be honest I'm probably not going to get to it now, either. But it's not incredibly exciting... it's just incredibly busy.

Doing the VA thing and booking a tour with In the Midst of Lions right now, and it's ridiculously stressful to me because I still have eight days to fill and the tour starts in three weeks and that's no good, but the Lord will provide and I believe it will be a good thing, in the long run.

I've taken the last month and a half off to work on my poetry project, and haven't accomplished one single iota of anything substantial whatsoever. But now I'm playing a "comeback show" on April 1st and I'm supposed to have new material and merch and whatever else and I doubt I'll have any of it. So I'm going to lock myself away and try to write some new stuff before that. Hopefully the Lord will be kind to me and provide inspiration.

I am poor. Very poor. In fact I am so poor that I really afford just about nothing at all right now, but I believe that the Lord will provide for that, too.

At least I'm relying on him, eh? Amen.

So yeah. I've been listening to a lot of new music that I've been discovering these days, which is pretty exciting.

Syrens.
The Great Commission.
Arsonists Get All The Girls.
Fallstar.
The Overseer.
Paul Blaunt.
Lil Wayne.
Kanye West.
Nose Whistler.
Stars Go Dim.
In The Midst of Lions.
All Or Nothing.
Wrench in the Works.
Lust Control.
Last Fifteen.
Dead Hours.

And there are a lot of other things that I would like to list that I can't remember which is somewhat frustrating, honestly.

But I love you. And I appreciate you who even know that I write in this thing, albeit however seldom it is.