tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-65198849334958351092024-03-19T05:50:46.112-07:00Crooked Mouth, Quiet DownI think that God is a lot of things
that I could very well be wrong about
I think that living is a lot of things
that I have very well been wrong about
Could you help me out?Levi The Poethttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09929278529243643890noreply@blogger.comBlogger37125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6519884933495835109.post-71917073003821515292010-01-06T10:46:00.001-08:002010-01-06T10:49:49.421-08:00Dear Blogspot, you've served me well, but I'm moving on to Tumblr...What a traitor! What right does he think that he has?! Such insolence! Such a sense of abandonment! Poor BlogSpot! <div><br /></div><div>To those of you that follow me on here, however sporadic my posts may be... please revert your attention to:</div><div><br /></div><div>levithepoet.tumblr.com. </div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div>Levi The Poethttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09929278529243643890noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6519884933495835109.post-67916752410520540472009-12-02T13:02:00.000-08:002009-12-02T13:11:38.057-08:00Inadequacy and Separation and Heartbreak and Wearing that Heart on that Sleeve (And a loving, forgiving, beautiful, joyful Hope...)<!--StartFragment--> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-top:12.0pt">I’ve heard it said numerous times recently that stress and anxiety are severe forms of selfishness because they reflect an inability to rely on Jesus for the necessities of life. The last couple of days, I have seen life pass by in a blur because I’ve literally rushed through them in an attempt to feel accomplished about something. In return, in all honesty, I have not gotten a single thing done. Rather than waiting on the Creator, I’ve created this mess of tangled webs in my head, constricting my heartbeat to small, fast paced pulses. I’m not trying to be poetic. I'm wondering at the fact that I haven’t had a frickin’ heart attack. I’m breathing too heavy and my heart’s racing too fast. And since I haven’t been relying on Jesus, it’s led to sinful “fulfillments” of <i>myself</i><span style="font-style:normal"> through thoughts and actions displeasing to the Lord. <o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-top:12.0pt">“Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice!”- Philippians 4:4<o:p></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-top:12.0pt">“When I am consumed by my problems – stressed out about my life, my family, my job – I actually convey the belief that I think the circumstances are more important than God’s command to always rejoice. In other words, that I have a “right” to disobey God because of the magnitude of my responsibilities. <b>Worry</b><span style="font-weight:normal"> implies that we don’t quite trust that God is big enough, powerful enough, or loving enough to take care of what’s happening in our lives. </span><b>Stress</b><span style="font-weight:normal"> says that the things we are involved in are important enough to merit our impatience, our lack of grace toward others, or our tight grip of control. Basically, these two behaviors communicate that it’s okay to sin and not trust God because the stuff in my life is somehow exceptional. Both worry and stress reek of arrogance.” – Francis Chan<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-top:12.0pt">Isn’t It absolutely ridiculous how we, as Christians, can want something so badly, and turn over and over again to the very thing that takes us away from him? It’s incredible to me. It’s angering to me. <o:p></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-top:12.0pt">Lord, turn my thoughts of lust to thoughts of longing for you. Please, turn my self-reliance to a selfless reliance upon you. <o:p></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-top:12.0pt">In Christ, there is no condemnation. This blows my mind. When I fail, I’m prone to damn myself to a day’s or a week’s worth of sulking and self-pity. But in Christ, there is no condemnation. Yes, of course, there are consequences for sin, but so often if I start the day off wrong, or if I screw up in the middle of it, or if I end it in sin, I get into this, “Welp! I messed up, Lord! I failed you! Now you can’t use me today anymore! Now I’m worthless until the sun rises again and your mercies start anew!"<o:p></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-top:12.0pt">But God’s mercies started anew at the cross and into forever, for forever, and I am not worthless. In Christ, there is no condemnation. Thank Jesus for that.<o:p></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-top:12.0pt">I want a complete and total transformation. After seeking and knowing joy in Jesus, it is incredible how much it hurts when I fail and seek fulfillment in something other than him. It’s like my heart breaks. Shatters, even. It’s like this enormous, heavy disappointment in myself – this weighty separation from God. It’s frustrating to know that, on this earth, I will fail and I will sin and I will rebel against the God that I want more than anything else to be close to. Such is life. <o:p></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-top:12.0pt">I cannot imagine hell. Yes, the fire and the brimstone and the gnashing of teeth and the darkness are enough to know that I do not want to spend eternity there… but the separation from God… that’s what does it. It brings me to tears to even think of it. <o:p></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-top:12.0pt">Oh, how thankful I am for the love and forgiveness of Jesus. Because despite the inevitability of sin on this earth, in this place, in this time, we have the joyful anticipation of heaven – of perfection and closeness – a bear hug from Jesus Christ. <o:p></o:p></p> <!--EndFragment-->Levi The Poethttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09929278529243643890noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6519884933495835109.post-1339444068730242222009-11-30T14:59:00.000-08:002009-11-30T16:05:48.384-08:00Gossip Is Incredibly Annoying (Or, An Apology And A Call To Change)<!--StartFragment--> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-top:12.0pt">So I have a couple things that I have to clear up, because if I don’t, even though they may be rather awkward in light of circumstances, then everyone else is going to continue to speak for me, and I am so frustrated that people are continually putting words in my mouth. Locally, where I live, there has been gossip and rumors going around about things that have gone on and things that I may or may not have said, and I want to clear them up.</p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-top:12.0pt"><o:p></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-top:12.0pt">The other day, I met a friend of mine who told me that I don’t like the band Poema. <i>He</i><span style="font-style:normal"> told </span><i>me</i><span style="font-style:normal"> that </span><i><span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>I </i><span style="font-style:normal">don’t like someone else. First of all, that’s false. Second of all, I’m not saying that it’s false because I am going to tour with them – I’m saying it’s false because it’s false. I like Poema. I literally listen to their songs every day. Shealeen and El are friends of mine, and we have always gotten along great, and I’m excited to tour with them, and I’m excited about what the Lord has provided for them by getting to sign to Tooth & Nail and get their name out there. Even if I didn’t like them, who would I be to say what should or shouldn’t happen if it’s already happened and the Lord is planning on using them for his glory? I am no one. <o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-top:12.0pt">Secondly, there has been a lot of talk about trouble between myself and Veil Arms. I will not deny that we have had our differences, and I will not deny that I have wrongfully been the source of gossip that should’ve been kept private about our relationship. This was sin on my part, and I will own up to it, and for the places that I sparked the flame, I will be the first to apologize to anyone and everyone that I may have negatively affected – burnt, even – by the fire in the process. The looseness in my lips was not edifying to Christ. But I will also say that VA and I have reconciled our relationship, are very good friends, and all has been forgiven and forgotten. I support what they are doing, because Christ has called them to their ministry, and they are following that call obediently. If you don’t know the details of the bumps along the way, it doesn’t matter, because it's in the past, and it is none of your business. <o:p></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-top:12.0pt">I could name numerous other things that I hear from here, there and everywhere about me or about someone else or about someone else or about someone else... And I keep on hearing about these lies going around as truths. And maybe it’s gossip in the form of a prayer request, and maybe it’s just straight “he said, she said” when the fact of the matter is that nobody knows what anybody’s said because everything is a skewed misconception of what it once was. <o:p></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-top:12.0pt">Regardless, I’m not posting this to ruffle anyone’s feathers. I’m posting this because I want to apologize for my part, and I have no idea who I need to address or apologize to in person anymore <i>because random people that I don’t even know</i><span style="font-style:normal"> have been talking about all this stuff, and it’s ridiculous. One of the things that Shawn (the Veil Arms dude) told me that really humbled me is that we’re called to build one another up and grow in Christ and in community and not to be divisive. This rings loud and clear to me because that same spirit of division nearly ruined our friendship because of the words of another person, and none of the gossip was based off of any truth whatsoever. I have been a very divisive person. I am sorry – I am doing everything within my power to change that. If some of you read this, maybe know me a little bit better than others, and feel that I am being hypocritical – I probably don’t blame you – but I beg of you to have mercy on me, because I am realizing where I need to fix issues within myself as well, and I know that it takes time. All I am saying is that I am frustrated with the gossip – yours and mine. <o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-top:12.0pt">One of the major things that the Lord taught me through my time with White Collar Sideshow last month, and has continued to instill in me through my own prayer and seeking to follow him is that we are all one body, and that we may not always all agree with one another, and we may not always all appeal to one another, and at other times, we might just straight up annoy one another, but for those of us that claim to be Christ followers, we are all on the same team, seeking the same goal, and in it for the same purposes, and it’s unacceptable to keep on screwing each other up. <o:p></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-top:12.0pt">“Does anyone want to live a life that is long and prosperous? Then keep your tongue from speaking evil and your lips from telling lies!” – Psalm 34:12-13 <o:p></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-top:12.0pt">So, my friends, I am so, so sorry for the lies that I have told, for the sins that I have committed, for the gossip that I have spread. This is certainly a lesson for me, as well. Sometimes people tell me that the best way to learn and seek conviction for yourself is to try to teach it to others. This has definitely been one of those circumstances for me. Please accept my apology as sincere. <o:p></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-top:12.0pt">And if it is applicable, please allow it to permeate your heart as well. I am apologetic, and I'm also so incredibly frustrated with this behind-your-back nonsense that keeps happening and happening and happening and happening. Please at least <i>try</i> to be respectful of one another, and I will do the same. None of us are perfect, and all of us know it, and not every single person needs to know every single detail of every single little thing, because it is so damaging, and it's ruining a lot of things, and doesn't show the characteristics of Christ that we are to be recognized by... love, compassion, etc... <o:p></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-top:12.0pt">Love you guys. See you on tour.</p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-top:12.0pt">Levi</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-top:12.0pt"> <o:p></o:p></p> <!--EndFragment-->Levi The Poethttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09929278529243643890noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6519884933495835109.post-85655511659147941872009-11-06T19:20:00.001-08:002009-11-06T19:22:36.531-08:00Tour Update - A Pilot Truck Stop In Kentucky<!--StartFragment--> <p class="MsoNormal"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">The date is Thursday, November 5, 2009, and the time is 3:14 pm, central time. Pilot Truck Stop, Kentucky.</span></b></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Text to Jonathan, my friend back home: </span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">I’m doing well. I’m very happy with these guys, and I feel like God is showering me with so much conversation about Him and people that are living out their lives passionately for Him that I don’t even know what to do with all the thoughts in my head. Whether it be with White Collar specifically, or the people we meet on the road. It’s crazy. I was thinking today that this month has felt like watching 50 hours of some discipleship training video and soaking up God like a sponge, and that’s very exciting.</span></i></span></b></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Have you ever seen a movie called “This Waking Life?” From what I can remember, it’s some weird cartoon movie about post-modernism or existentialism (which, I guess, are one in the same, basically) or whatever (it doesn’t really matter), and the entire film is a series of interviews about life and reality and meaning and vanity between these cartoon characters and the drawing styles change and it kind of follows this empty story line and, and, and... </span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Anyway, that movie specifically popped into my head today as we were meeting with Stump – the pastor at The Anchor Fellowship in Nashville, TN – because this entire month has felt like a huge series of intense, beautiful conversations – conversation that envelope depth and God and life. They’ve been conversations that have stirred up my spirit with burden and longing. They’ve been conversations that have tied my thoughts in knots and inspired so many ideas in my brain that it’s hard to know which are which and what is what and what the heck is going on. They’ve been conversations that have challenged and encouraged me to think about what it is I’m pursuing in life, in this project.</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">I was reading a journal entry that I wrote back in September. I am not going to divulge the entire thing here (because if I did, you may never listen to my poetry every again! ha!), but there was a part of it that caught my eye, which said something like, “I wonder if I’ll ever be a successful poet. Ha! Just think! A successful poet!”</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">If you want to know the truth, I’m rather ashamed of sharing that line with those of you that may read this, because it sounds kind of – well, I don’t know how it sounds. It sounds kind of stupid to me (stupid is a pretty good word) – maybe because I know where my heart was at the time, and what my heart is struggling with now, for that matter, and I know the thoughts behind it… the point that I’m trying to make is that I feel like, over the last two months – and even before I wrote that little line of brilliance – my heart and mindset have been radically challenged as to what exactly “success” is. Because when I wrote “success” – my definition was financial. Sweet Jesus! I ask with all of my heart that I would not equate success with finance, because that is not what this life is about. And I’ve been learning, seeing, thinking, wondering about the majesty of God, and about something that T.D. Benton from White Collar Sideshow drilled into the minds of people that we played for every night, which was this: We are called to love one another and to love Christ, and if we’re not doing those things, then what are we doing? </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">I would like my success, the focal point of what I’m doing in this life, to be Jesus Christ. I would like to be a person that loves and feels and relates and cherishes relationships the way that Jesus did when he chilled with people – and God frickin knows he didn’t base his success on the overflow of his pockets.</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Every night before a show, I pray that Jesus would be noticed, glorified, lifted up, honored and praised through what I do. I wish that people would close their eyes for my entire performance so that they could hear what God has to say (I’m not saying that to sound pretentious or righteous – I’m saying it because I think that God really has something to say), and not focus on the distraction of a poet with the orange hat that looks like he’s cracked out of his mind because he’s so twitchy on stage. I have so many friends that I’ve seen give it all up for the sake of Jesus, and I would like to know what it is to be sacrificial without worry, stress or anxiety on the false pretence that I deserve credit for anything that I do.</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">So back to “The Waking Life” – somehow, almost daily, I’ve found myself looking into the eyes of these people that I am meeting and have come to admire – these people that I view as examples of faith that I desire – as they go off on these monologues about what God is doing and how he’s developing them and what they think about things that are happening and what the crap is going on. And through all of this, the Spirit is stirring within me these desires to pursue righteousness over wealth, and to develop a lasting, patient maturity rather than stressing over something that needs to happen immediately. He’s reminding me that if I count on anything other than him as my source of happiness, I will be disappointed.</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">More than shows or merch or whatever else I have judged past tours as successful by, this run has been a huge blessing to the spiritual condition of my health, and I hope that the Lord has used me to bless others in the same way, because it’s truly been incredible, and incredibly encouraging, and that is the ultimate point that I am getting to – I would like the Lord to use me to encourage and love others the way that he has used others to encourage and love me. I hope that he continues to provide and open up opportunities to know him more, to know others more, and to hone in on relationship with him. I would surely love that. </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-top:12.0pt"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Sometimes when I write these long updates about things, I wonder how they sound to others. I would like to think that these thoughts are me maturing, or at least trying to learn and be shaped into the likeness of Christ, but I sometimes wonder whether or not they just sound like aimless thoughts and wonderings – or </span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">wanderings</span></i><span style="font-style:normal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"> – like I’m spinning in and out of these “spiritual highs” or something. </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-top:12.0pt"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Sometimes I get scared that the people that truly know me might think I’m being hypocritical. Sometimes I get scared that the people that I’ve misrepresented Christ to will think that I’m wearing this façade to be the good Christian. Oh how I would love to be able to do away with the word “Christian” as an adjective, maybe even to forget the word altogether, and to just live for Christ without having to quantify things – to label actions – as holy or not, and to just live. And for that “just living” to be for Christ. </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-top:12.0pt"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Regardless, these are the thoughts on my mind, for now, and it’s probably the best tour update I could have written. I’m still trying to understand what it all means, and I’m asking for direction and organization of all the crap in my head and heart, but aren’t we all? God forbid I should ever have it all figured out, because when and where would I need to rely on God if that happened? </span><o:p></o:p></p> <!--EndFragment-->Levi The Poethttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09929278529243643890noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6519884933495835109.post-54128258805473289072009-11-06T12:45:00.000-08:002009-11-06T12:48:29.155-08:00Hopecore Magazine Reviews My Album!<!--StartFragment--> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'times new roman';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Levi the Poet </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'times new roman';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Werewolves</span></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'times new roman';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span></i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'times new roman';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Passionate and unique, Levi the Poet exemplifies the deepest of these. At times he screams his poetry as if all alone in his bedroom late at night, lamenting and challenging. Other times he brings it down to a soft whisper to draw you in to his confessions. Levi’s honest words cover everything from nightmares spanning childhood to adulthood to pornography and relationships leaving no stone unturned. All of this is deeply rooted in his intense faith. You don’t see many spoken word artists anymore but this stuff is just too contagious not to marvel at. You might wonder what made a twenty year old New Mexico youth so tortured. Trust me, Levi the Poet gives you an 11 track explanation that will surely rock you. </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'times new roman';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'times new roman';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'times new roman';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Check out more at http://www.hopecore.com</span></span></p> <!--EndFragment-->Levi The Poethttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09929278529243643890noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6519884933495835109.post-70028041634070921452009-10-21T21:32:00.001-07:002009-10-21T22:26:12.116-07:00Faith and Healing and How God is Pretty Crazy, ReallyI started out this blog with three or four paragraphs about some struggles and sins and questions and wonderings and things of that sort, and then deleted them all, and started this sentence. The reason I did that is because there's a time and place for that, and I feel as though I've exhausted it recently. What I decided I really wanted to say is something pretty simple, really, which is this:<div><br /></div><div>Our God is a crazy, crazy, crazy God. He does crazy things that I don't understand. He loves in ways that I can't comprehend, and he is a beautiful, beautiful, beautiful, wonderful God. I've been reading in Luke, and in Luke there is a story about how Jesus tells his disciples to go out and heal people. He says that they should go walk around and cast out demons and heal all diseases. He tells them that they shouldn't take anything with them; not food or clothes or money or anything. </div><div><br /></div><div>And then the next part of the story says this: "So they began their circuit of the villages, preaching the Good News and healing the sick." </div><div><br /></div><div>This is the way that I paraphrase this story:</div><div><br /></div><div><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"> </span>One random day, Jesus told his friends to do a whole bunch of crazy things - like heal people and cast out demons and stuff that nobody really does or believes they can do. He told them that they can do it because he can do it, and they are his. And he told them not to bring things that keep people alive (money, food, clothes), because God would provide. </div><div><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"> </span>And then they said, "Okay," and shrugged their shoulders and walked around and did it. </div><div><br /></div><div>This is such a crazy story to me because all I can think is: what a crazy kind of faith that is! What a crazy person to tell them to do it, and what crazy people to believe that they can, and what a crazy God to actually make it possible!</div><div><br /></div><div>And <i>then</i> I think about another verse somewhere else that I know of (I can't remember which one - I want to say it's in Corinthians or something) that says that every spiritual gift has been given to us, and another one that says that even with the faith of a mustard seed, we could move mountains. </div><div><br /></div><div>And <i>then then</i> I think that <i>we</i> could do stuff like that with the kind of faith that the disciples had. I've seen it happen! I've seen people healed, physically. When I was a kid, a friend of my dad's fell off of a roof, and he broke his leg, and I watched while my dad and his friends prayed for him, and I watched his broken leg be healed and saw him get up and jump around and rejoice because God can still heal people. I've seen kids healed at shows for sicknesses they've had for years. I've even gotten to witness healing in my dad for some of his back problems that he's had for years. </div><div><br /></div><div>What kind of a crazy God does stuff like that? He's nuts! He's phenomenal. To think that Jesus has given us every spiritual gift, to think that he told us to keep his ministry going after he left, to think that he's not only wanting but expecting the type of faith that can move mountains... it's beyond my realm of thought, but it's exciting, too. </div><div><br /></div><div>I'm excited to know that God is bigger than my skepticism. I'm not too prone to thinking that when a miracle happens, it actually happens. I'm pretty down to come up with another explanation for why that dude can walk even though he didn't used to be able to, or why that chick can see even though she's been blind her whole life, or why my dad's leg is even with his other leg even though it's been an inch shorter and screwing up his back his whole 55 years on this earth. It's probably a scam, you know? Take my money, I want your scam, too. </div><div><br /></div><div>But I've seen those things, and I'm reading this book that God decided we should read that talks about stuff he did and is doing and <i>he's still doing</i> these kinds of things, and I believe that wholeheartedly. </div><div><br /></div><div>And <i>that</i> is a miracle in and of itself. </div><div><br /></div><div>So I don't really know if I am going to be closing this with any sort of punch line or something profound or if I'm even going to give it any sort of closure whatsoever, other than that I think the Lord is developing my faith in him more and more, and something that has come out of it is my desire to believe in and to see him do things that we don't generally believe he can do anymore, because I believe that he still can, and I believe that he still does, and I believe that he will continue to, because he wants to. </div><div><br /></div><div>And I feel like there's a sort of revival about this kind of thing going on, at least in music - or, at least in the music that I listen to - and so maybe I just sound like "another one of those charismatic crazies." Maybe I am, but I'd like to believe that God really has the power that I tell everyone else that he has all the time, and I've finally started to be frickin stoked about the fact that I do, and that he does. </div><div><br /></div><div>God is going to heal my dad's back. I believe it, and I'll keep on believing it regardless of whether it happens in this lifetime or not - because even if it doesn't, it'll be healed once he gets home, and God's promise will have not been broken. </div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div>Levi The Poethttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09929278529243643890noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6519884933495835109.post-77875977765965055112009-09-25T11:02:00.000-07:002009-09-25T11:03:08.959-07:00Prayer Requests/Praise Reports<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue'; font-size: 11px; line-height: 14px; "><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-bottom: 10px; ">September is coming to an end, as is this month’s run with In The Midst Of Lions. We’ve been out on the road since the 4th, and it’s been great. The Lord has provided wholly and completely, and despite the brief moments that we all want to kill each other in the van, we’re all accounted for! Praise Jesus!</p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-bottom: 10px; ">Tour is awesome, but it’s difficult. This isn’t really anything that surprise me, by any means, but definitely something that hit closer to home now that it’s happening. If those of you that keep tabs on what I’m doing out here would like to pray for myself and a couple rocky relationships back home, it would mean a lot. I believe that the Lord has been working to show me trust and complete reliance in a way I’ve never known before – and although it’s exciting to grow and mature, spiritually, it’s also scary, and takes letting go – and letting go is not easy for me at all.</p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-bottom: 10px; ">So – specifically. I would love some prayer for me and my girlfriend’s relationship, that the Lord would make himself known in our decision-making about where to go from here. Also, I believe that the Lord has called me to this, but I’m still a baby in the world, and teething my way into this part of the industry, setting up dates, figuring out how to make them happen, seeking to maintain the ministry aspect above and beyond the rest, and trusting the Lord with all of it is a bit nerve-racking sometimes.</p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-bottom: 10px; ">Praise reports? God has shown himself faithful to my prayers for stress and anxiety relief – at least in a few areas, which is amazing. Financially, times are hard (like they are for everyone), but I know that God still holds me in the palm of his hand, and I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that he will be my provider.</p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-bottom: 10px; ">Jesus has been working like crazy in the hearts of so many people throughout this last month – including (but definitely not limited to) my own. Kids and adults alike at shows have come up to me after my set and said that the Lord worked through it in ways that no pastor or preacher ever has, and that the Holy Spirit is present in what I’m doing. This is not said in any sort of haughtiness – but to boast in Christ. It has been my constant prayer that he will shine so much brighter than I ever will through what he’s doing in this project, and I praise him for glorifying himself and accepting my worship the way that he has.</p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-bottom: 10px; ">So yeah… that’s what’s up for right now. I came to this coffee shop in Missouri to get work done, and I’ve pretty much been sitting here screwing around for the last three hours – so now I’m finally going to get to it.</p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-bottom: 10px; ">Thank you so much for your prayers.</p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-bottom: 10px; ">Love, <br />Levi</p></span>Levi The Poethttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09929278529243643890noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6519884933495835109.post-30372588527519531252009-09-16T14:23:00.000-07:002009-09-16T14:25:12.051-07:00Full Length "Werewolves" Complete Lyrics<div><br /></div><div><p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">Big Big Bang</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman; min-height: 11.0px"><br /></p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">I was not a mistake</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">My death was not a mistake</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">You were not a mistake</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">Your memory was not a mistake</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">We are all not mistakes</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">Bang! Big, big bang!</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman; min-height: 11.0px"><br /></p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman; min-height: 11.0px"><br /></p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">Dancing With The Goblins</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman; min-height: 11.0px"><br /></p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">I’ve missed you since you’ve been gone.</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">I must confess, I am such a mess and these days just seem so long.</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">I’ve been smoking way too much again</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">now that you are gone,</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">and I struggle with porn a little bit more as the loneliness wears on…</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">I can lie to myself all day long</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">until I believe the corruption is tried and true,</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">but just because I can appease my conscience</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">doesn’t mean that my failures don’t affect you. And I know</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">if you didn’t want honesty you wouldn’t be with me,</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">but now that you know everything,</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">am I everything you always wanted me to be?</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman"> </p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">Cause this city is laid out like a massive machine</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">and up above the clouds I can see everything.</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">When I look at her, and she looks at me – that glow of city streetlights…</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">(I am crystal clean.)</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman"> </p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">I could have sat inside that coffee shop all day long</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">and watched Grandma Death walk back and forth</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">from the park to the Jack in the Box</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">to the park to the Jack in the Box</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">to the park to the Jack in the Box</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">to the part to the broken down, boarded up shop and laugh</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">(as long as I was laughing with you…)</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman"> </p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">Well you are bundled up so tight</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">and I can see that look (of wonderment) in your eyes</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">as I take your hand and we step outside into that beautiful, cloudy Seattle sky and</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">wonder where the sun went.</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman"> </p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">I want to sit on the step outside your green apartment</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">and try to explain what happens to my heart (when I see the city)</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">it’s like a clean start</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">AND I WANT TO DANCE WITH THE GOBLINS!</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman"> </p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">and I want to dance with you…</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">and I wanna remember what it was like on the nights</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">that we missed each other again, like our love was new!</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">(Like our love was real!)</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">Like there was emotion in your voice</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">when you told me you loved me and “I love you” was something that I could feel.</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">And you’d kiss me like you meant</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">that you’d miss me while you were gone,</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">and I’d sing our favorite song…</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman"> </p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">I’D BE THE VOICE IN YOUR DREAMS!</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">“Don’t stop calling, you’re the reason I love losing sleep.”</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman"> </p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">This city is laid out like a massive machine</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">and it’s synched up so perfectly with all of my circuitry.</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">I am not a complicated human being:</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">I just want to be loved, and I just want you to love me!</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman"> </p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">I JUST WANT TO FALL ASLEEP TO THE SOUND OF YOU BREATHING!</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">(That melody is sweeter than their “Colly Strings”)</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">But the static on the phone lines is getting worse and worse…</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">(and I can’t hear either,</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">no I can’t hear anything!)</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman"> </p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">This city is full of so many broken dreams</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">and so many beautiful memories - - -</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman"> </p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">1,465 miles from Albuquerque to Salt Lake</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">to Oregon</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">to Seattle</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">to Vivace’s Cofee (to the park by your place)</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">23 hours and 9 minutes on the interstate</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">and if I start driving now I can make it in a day…</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman"> </p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">This city’s laid out like a broken machine</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">(ALLY! ALLY!) Are you coming home for me?</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">I’m sorry I haven’t written – it’s been a while since I’ve dreamed…</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman"> </p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">It’s been a while since I’ve acted on my hopes for anything.</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman"> </p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">(But I miss your kiss) and</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">my favorite thing is when I can still taste the nicotine on your lips…</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">could you kiss me and pretend that</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">you mean it?</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman"> </p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">This city breaks me down like a massive machine</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">and if there is no hope for me, then forget it, I’ll just leave!</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">I’m hitting the road,</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">I miss you so much when talk on the phone</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">but my letters are so sparse, I just wanted you to know:</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman"> </p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">NO MATTER HOW FAR I CHASE MY DREAMS,</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">MY DREAM WILL ALWAYS BE YOU AND ME.</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman"> </p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">(and I swear we’ll make a memory out of this solemn scene)</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">Would you have never loved at all</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">or lost but loved completely?</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman"> </p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">WELL I LOVE YOU COMPLETELY!</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">(and you love me enough to let me go)</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman; min-height: 11.0px"><br /></p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman; min-height: 11.0px"><br /></p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">Oh Captain, My Captain!</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman; min-height: 11.0px"><br /></p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">Step out the front door, friends! </p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">Toss up my keys! From here on out we’re gonna do as we please!</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">Just outside this substantially thickening window is a world</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">Full of opportunities for me and you…</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman"> </p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">And you and me. </p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">(But I fell into that same flawed fantasy that detaching myself from</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">mommy’s bedtime stories and daddy singing me to sleep</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">would be the key to setting me free.)</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman"> </p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">Oh, you want out<b> </b>so bad now, baby girl,</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">But just you wait and see how much you miss mom and dad</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">Once you finally get the chance to leave!</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">I want to go home to my own bed tonight and sleep cuddle with my puppy</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">(I miss my puppy!)</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">I want to make believe that she is a girl sleeping next to me…</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman"> </p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">…like I used to when I was lonely…</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman"> </p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">like I was lucky enough to have somebody there to keep me company when</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">I woke up in the morning and hold me (but now I’m…)</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">Buried in the arms of someone else and missing mother’s.</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">I miss the weathered hands of my dad while holding tightly to my lovers.</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman"> </p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">And I call this:</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">Free.</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">EIGHTEEN BABY! YOU WANT TO SEE MY I.D.?</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">I’LL BUY MY OWN CIGARETTES!</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman"> </p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">In fact, two packs please.</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">Two packs for the two years I already ran myself broke,</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">(O!) And two more for the two more I’m gonna count on these to cope.</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">I’ll take two packs for the two days that I’m planning on being away,</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">Smoke ‘em both the first so on the second I can give my lungs a break</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman"> </p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">(or, at least that’s the plan anyway… oh my god! You’ve got a two-for-one on the 27’s?)</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">You know, I think I’ll take two more just in case on that second day,</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">When I wake,</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">I decide to smoke all eight…</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman"> </p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">OH! a captain and coke would go so nicely right now</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">Cause I’ve been drinkin a little to try to forget about the fact that</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman"> I’ve been drinkin a little to try to forget about the fact that</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman"> I’ve been drinkin a little to try to forget about the fact that</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman"> </p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">I drank quite a bit, and actually forgot about the fact that I am down.</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman"> </p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">Funny how perspectives change so quickly</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">when you’re the one with your head</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">beneath the toilet seat, wearing that crown on your feet…</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman"> </p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">…and as I lift up my head from that bathroom sink I sink into the mirror and scream:</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman"> </p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman"> “YOU DON’T KNOW ME!!!” </p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman"> </p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">and Paul said it perfectly, “I am the worst of these”</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">but every now and then I swear I think I got that guy beat.</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">I used to be such a fan of abstract poetry!</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">But that quiet, clouded, kind of confusing painting</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">went from diluted grayscale to vibrant honesty pretty quickly,</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman"> </p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">and in fact, I’m a little sickly,</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman"> </p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">and in fact I’m a little scared sometimes that this is all in vain,</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">with a million of me running all over eternity it’s no wonder my hope has such a bad name!</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">But I know, no matter how large a hypocrite, or how small my faith,</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman"> </p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">WHEN YOU STARTED TO TALK ABOUT PERFECTION</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">THE WAY YOU TALKED ABOUT MY PAIN</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">You became the seed inside that gave root to change!</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman"> </p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">And I pray every day that there is power in prayer,</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">And I hope with all my heart that my heart will find you there,</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">And if you’re really bigger than my skepticism</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">Then how dare I compare the high I prescribe with the beauty you prepare?</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman"> </p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">I AM A SKELETON IN A LITTLE FRAGILE SKIN!</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman; min-height: 11.0px"><br /></p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman; min-height: 11.0px"><br /></p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">Fatigue</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman; min-height: 11.0px"><br /></p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">My God is only as big as I let him be and </p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">I am not gonna limit my God with my disbelief</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">My God has always, always been there for me</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">and I am not gonna limit my God with uncertainty</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman; min-height: 11.0px"><br /></p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">I DON'T HAVE MUCH! (but it might amount to a mustard seed)</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">I beg for miracles and then I breathe</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">I scream for signs and wonders and then my heart keeps its beat</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman; min-height: 11.0px"><br /></p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">But you've got to go through the fire to be refined - yeah!</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">There's a huge sense of helplessness in a hopeless time...</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">Well, I am yours and you are mine, and we are one in a kind.</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman; min-height: 11.0px"><br /></p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">So sang the birds and the bees</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">when I was not strong enough to sing anything;</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">if you care and provide for the least of these, </p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">then how much more will you look over me? </p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman; min-height: 11.0px"><br /></p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">I don't have much, but it might amount to a mustard seed, </p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">and I've seen you move mountains and </p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">command the winds and waves of the seas</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">on a whim so much smaller than me, singing:</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman; min-height: 11.0px"><br /></p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">God is bigger than the air I breathe; the world will leave. </p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">And God will save the day, and all with sing</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">my glorious. </p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman; min-height: 11.0px"><br /></p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman; min-height: 11.0px"><br /></p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">Rainy Weather</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman; min-height: 11.0px"><br /></p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">I love this rainy weather;</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">it fills up my hollow bones just right. </p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">I love this rainy weather;</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">the dripping sings me to sleep when I can't sleep at night.</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">I love this rainy weather;</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">it fills up my hollow bones just right.</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">I love this rainy weather;</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">I wish I could cry the way I see God cry...</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman; min-height: 11.0px"><br /></p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">CHRIST! the last time I saw you cry</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">was Tuesday of last week, and I wasn't sure why, but</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">the skies just kind of opened up and I sat there beneath it</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">in a puddle of mud </p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">next to the memory of my favorite swingset, as a kid, </p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">and wondered if it was my fault that you were sad that day...</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">and I wondered what I did. </p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">Jesus, the last time I saw you cry was in a dream I had late last night,</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">and I held you tight against my bosom, </p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">and you wept until I was drenched and I said, </p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">"I'm so sorry, God! I'll never do that again!"</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman; min-height: 11.0px"><br /></p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">But the other day I met a girl who talked about love</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">like she actually believed it was real. </p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">This child and I, we shared brief conversation</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">about a few things that we thought we could feel. </p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">"Well, I don't mean to shatter your naivete, darling,</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">but you've so much to see, little girl..."</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">And she shook her head and smiled like I was the one that was the child - </p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">she said, "Mister! Open up your eyes and I will show you the world!"</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman; min-height: 11.0px"><br /></p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">I say, "People talk a whole lot about having a vice, </p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">well I've got three: insecurity, depression, and this growing anxiety..."</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">She said, "Look, I don't mean to cut you off at the seams</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">or one-up you or anything, but I drank way too much soda-pop </p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">as a child, and now I'm addicted to caffeine. Hehe.</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman; min-height: 11.0px"><br /></p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">I mean, no, no, mister! I mean, you know that's not what I mean!</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">I mean, at least you maintained your honesty!"</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman; min-height: 11.0px"><br /></p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">"Little girl! You don't even know what I mean!"</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">But the blind were born blind so that one day they could see, </p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">and unless you become as a child: unless you become like me, </p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">you're making excuses for yourself, Levi! </p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">You're holding onto reasons to stay angry!</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman; min-height: 11.0px"><br /></p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">So what did I used to write about in sixth grade</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">when I sat against that fence and watched the world slip away? </p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">... how me and my imaginary girl sat beneath that weeping willow tree</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">and watched God's teardrops drip from the branches reaching out to me</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">till we were anything but lonely...</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman; min-height: 11.0px"><br /></p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">I love this rainy weather, </p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">it reminds me of being younger, back when I didn't worry...</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman; min-height: 11.0px"><br /></p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">But I worry more than ever now, </p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">(and I can't stop pacing these hallways...)</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">and my biggest secret is that I don't have any secrets left, </p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">and I'd like at least one to hold onto</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">so that I can still seem sexy and mysterious to you...</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman; min-height: 11.0px"><br /></p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">I WANT TO BE EXCITED ABOUT CONCERTS AGAIN!</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">I want to beg and scrape for the nickels and dimes</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">and tell my parents that I'm gonna be fine; and no I'm not gonna jump in the pit...</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">when everyone knows I'M GONNA JUMP IN THE PIT!!!</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">(And no, mom, there is nothing violent about The Chariot)</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman; min-height: 11.0px"><br /></p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">But next to the memory of my favorite swingset as a kid</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">is a ghost of me, sitting next to me, wondering what he did. </p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">And as he lets the sand filter through his hands, </p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">it clumps in the puddle of tears he's sitting in, and we whisper in unison, </p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">"God I must've bummed you out again..."</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman; min-height: 11.0px"><br /></p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">I love this rainy weather, </p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">it reminds me of so many beautiful memories, </p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">and just like you said to me, "The times that I cry </p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">are the times that I feel the most. </p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">So if I find another secret to hide, you will never know.</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">I want to feel like I can't maintain control and </p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">if I let it all out I'm gonna have to bear my soul...</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman; min-height: 11.0px"><br /></p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">All I want is a hand to hold onto..." (no, no)</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">"ALL I WANT IS FOR YOU TO HEAL MY DAD'S BACK! </p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">WHY IS THAT SO HARD FOR YOU TO DO!"</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman; min-height: 11.0px"><br /></p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">I HATE THIS RAINY WEATHER!</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">(it reminds me of being a kid when I would trust without question)</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">and aren't there so many questions?</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">Why are there so many questions?</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman; min-height: 11.0px"><br /></p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">GET OUT OF MY HEAD!!!</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman; min-height: 11.0px"><br /></p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman; min-height: 11.0px"><br /></p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">Pretty in Pornography</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman; min-height: 11.0px"><br /></p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">When she finds the magazines underneath her husband's side of the bed,</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">she'll stand naked in front of the mirror for hours (... well what did you expect?)</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">"Bang dumb blondes, sexy singles and busty brunettes..." </p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">I must not be as beautiful as the advertising says...</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman; min-height: 11.0px"><br /></p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">Miss, I saw your poster recently...</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">I read your ad in one of Playboy's latest magazines, actually...<br />I've fed every need that I believed photography could feed me<br /></p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">If you can believe me... I hate it. </p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">You are worth so much more than my brief moment of orgasm<br />when I allow my mind to deceive me.<br />I'd like to be an open book and it's hard to admit <br />how I take advantage of the desires God gave me...<br />But I don't want to sugarcoat this - I feel hopeless, trapped in brokenness - </p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">like I lost before I ever started racing... <br />and I know as well as anybody, this is a difficult topic to be facing,<br />and a difficult confession for me to be making<br />but I'm stating that when God started the molding, shaping and creating - <br />you were not designed to be the objects that men look at while masturbating.<br />Baby, never forget that you were made for relating and I'm sick of failing </p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">to realize exactly what it is that I'm saying...<br /><br />I apologize.<br />It was never my intent to ruin lives, compromise, or feed these eyes<br />something other than what was designed.<br />I apologize.<br />It was never my desire to downsize or objectify the beauty God designed<br />to be wrapped tight until its proper time...<br /><br />Sometimes, though... I feed my indecency....</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">Kind of slide that magazine across the counter and do it quietly:</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">shy my face away so that no one else can see...</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">"Will that be all for you today, sir?"<br />"Yes ma'am, I'd like to pay to become the opposite of what I want to be."<br />I wish I'd have waited, dedicated to see<br />the experience God had planned for me from the beginning. </p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">I am not patient enough to not give in</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">to every sin forbidden to the hearts of men... <br /><br />Since when am I patient enough to not give in?<br /><br />I just apologized five minutes ago!<br />God! come on! what's going on? I'm sick of this!<br />SOMEBODY PUT SOME CLOTHES ON - YOU'RE BETTER THAN THIS!<br />God's most beautiful creation and </p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">I'm sitting here euphoric like I have the right to destroy it<br />just cause I don't have enough dedication to build a relationship <br />with the one who can free me, so I resort to suffocation of my very foundations<br />while claiming that I'm striving to meet the expectations of purity?<br /><br />Jesus keep reassuring me,<br />I'm yearning to be the entity that you desire me to be<br /><br />Jesus keep reassuring her,<br />the one in the centerfold, the picture I'll remember until I grow old<br />She is human; she is human,<br />she is bought and sold to a million empty souls feeling so hopeless<br />that they'll try anything to fill the hole.<br /><br />I apologize.<br />Please believe it's true. </p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">I never meant to hurt you. </p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman; min-height: 11.0px"><br /></p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman; min-height: 11.0px"><br /></p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">Life in General</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman; min-height: 11.0px"><br /></p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">BE THE CHANGE...<br /><br />...said vipers! tigers!<br />reassemble, rearrange!<br />(i long to live as a lion so i violently tuff up my mane)<br />oh high king of heaven,<br />my victory won!!<br />(but i could still taste the soot in my lungs<br />when that chorus was finally sung)<br />i called you so often, but you never came<br />i reached out to you! but you paid no attention<br />and as wisdom shouts out into the noisy streets<br />i will cusp my ears tight in stubborn pretension<br />("how terrible for you who lie awake at night, thinking up evil plans")<br />BARREL LOADED!!! (to your brother...)<br />Abel! run for cover!<br />if you tilt, i tilt your world in my hands -<br />take up my life with fraud and violence, and serpent i will meet your demands!<br /><br />bag lady, you know I heard you sing and<br />(or rumor has it) you believed in me<br />...and december's finally set me free... <br />(but Mary! i've forgotten just what it means to breathe!)<br />and as she held baby jesus so very closely (to her bosom, to her soul)<br />i will cling tightly to my demons in the dark and imagine what it's like<br />to be<br />entirely<br />whole!!!!<br /><br />singers, did you feel the ground shake beneath you<br />when your mustard seed fell deep in dark soil?<br />but i called out "TORTURE!" amongst the scoffers<br />(and though the ground is once more fertile)<br />i recoil...<br /><br />...I RECOIL!!!...<br /><br />and as his mother's blood begins to boil,<br />(and as we pollute god's lips with gin and oil)<br />i've ne're witnessed such turmoil<br /><br />as when his heart reflected mine! (and, oh, on that note, my god died)<br /><br />be the change!<br />said mother, father,<br />brother, sister, son, daughter,<br />i come to you (the porno pauper) with understanding in my open hands<br />and a tired knowledge in my eyes<br />(if this beauty is so sacred, how does it sell so fast?) <br />i still remember the first time i died ... <br />-and oh so unknowingly- gave it a second try<br /><br />BUT LOVE IS PATIENT!!! LOVE IS KIND!!!<br />and somewhere amongst this mishap i was allowed to survive<br /><br />be the change, said angels, demons,<br />reassemble, rearrange!<br />i long to live as a lion<br />so i study him studying me violently tuff up my mane...</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman; min-height: 11.0px"><br /></p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman; min-height: 11.0px"><br /></p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">The Bride</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman; min-height: 11.0px"><br /></p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">If misery loves company (and isn’t that why you clung to me?)</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">let’s all come together and we’ll a call it a church</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">put a few people on pedestals and they can tell us why we hurt</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">and I will hold these people with such high esteem</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">(o my god, if you fail, you fail the whole machine)</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">aren’t we all just wolves in sheep’s clothing?</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">shepherd, tend to your flock, but look out for the beast</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">cause she’s a mean one, you see</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">she’s beautiful, she’s ugly, her lips taste like honey</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">and she’s been eyeing you the way that she’s eyeing me</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman"> </p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman"><i>but my costume is so clean!</i></p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman"><i>I finally tucked my claws inside these little feet</i></p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman"><i>and I’m standing so righteous and haughty!</i></p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman"> </p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">But I lost interest in your bride (that body)</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">when I stopped recognizing the groom in the congregation</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman"> </p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">Ephesus! Where is that love?</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">What it’s this uninviting, apprehensive sensation?</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">And when did our relationship become exclusive?</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman"> </p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">There is nothing new underneath that sun</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">but I will not succumb to be recruited</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">for the only army that shoots the wounded</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">(I would rather be the wounded)</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">I AM THE WOUNDED!</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman"> </p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">SANCTUARY!</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman"> </p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">O, the church is a whore, but she’s still my mother</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">(and I try to love her) God knows I love her!</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">I am her.</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman"> </p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">Better to lose an arm or a leg</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">(yeah!) cast out anything that’s gonna cause you to fail again</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">if I wasn’t such a sucker for pain,</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">I would’ve gouged out my eyes nine years ago, today</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">and no need to worry about me pointing out your flaws</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">I don’t have a speck in my eye, I’ve got a splintered log</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">and I am not strong enough to cut it off</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">(but I’m not trusting enough to hand someone else the saw)</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman"> </p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">So it’s the blind disagreeing with the blind, about sight</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">and it’s the mute screaming at the deaf (with all his might)</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">about wrong and right</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">“I’ve got a novel full of excuses</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">about why I left the bride,</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">and they’re all justified!”</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman"> </p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">In broken penmanship and crooked lines</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">“I AM ENTIRELY BITTER INSIDE”</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">and I need somebody wiser to differentiate between truths and lies</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">and pray my calloused heart beats steady,</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">I’m pretty good at forgiving, but I’d like to start forgetting</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">and I’m tired of the rats eating my harp string</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">I miss the sound of her voice when she’d sing:</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman"> </p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman"><i>“I’m coming back to the heart of worship,</i></p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman"><i>and it’s all about You. It’s all about You, Jesus.</i></p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman"><i>I’m sorry, Lord, for the things I’ve made it.</i></p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman"><i>It’s all about You. It’s all about You, Jesus.”</i></p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman"> </p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">The church may be a whore but she has a lot to teach me,</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">and if love keeps no record of wrongs then I want to love completely</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">we all are whores,</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">we are all lovers</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">and I am gonna love her</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">I am her.</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman; min-height: 11.0px"><br /></p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman; min-height: 11.0px"><br /></p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">Werewolves</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman; min-height: 11.0px"><br /></p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">Cause when I was 6,6, six years old </p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">I saw my first Goosebumps episode on Nickelodeon,</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">And that stupid T.V. show made me so scared of warewolves that</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">I was afraid to walk into the dark for months on end and</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">I suppose nothing much has changed sine then</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">Except for now these monsters are personified within</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">And I go to sleep with them</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">And cuddle with them and pretend that I’m</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">7,7, seven years old, once the fear had finally gone away,</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">until I saw my father’s ghost inside my childhood home’s window panes,</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">and some silent, shadowed matter followed me around the halls of my house when I was eight, </p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">so I’ve held onto the belief that there’s something dark</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">lurking around my family to this day.</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman"> </p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">I’ve used up all 999 lives so by the 10th time I die </p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">I’ll be right by your side,</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">And we’ll both agree that we tried to land on out feet!</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman"> </p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">(ha ha! Poor boy! I don’t even believe in demons!)</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">I KNOW! I KNOW! Me neither, </p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">nobody believes in demons until they’ve seen them!</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman"> </p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">And no I don’t smoke no ganga,</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">And I'm not gonna smoke that ganga </p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">because all of my friends already smoked enough ganga</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">For two of my lifetimes and I fell apart while I watched them fall apart</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">So I figure I’ve got enough falling apart in my system already…</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman"> </p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">And I’m scared for my family</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">(and I’m scared the warewolves will keep attacking my dad!)</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">they’ve already bitten him up pretty bad,</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">and the swelling’s spreading to my mom’s side of the bed…</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman"> </p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">AND I’M THINKING HARD LATELY ABOUT GETTING SOME MEDS</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">TO HELP CLEAR UP THIS DEPRESSION THAT’S COULDING MY HEAD!</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">But those tiny little red and white </p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">and black and green and yellow and orange and blue</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">Pills scare me half to death.</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman"> </p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">When I was little, my mom hung and elephant on my wall </p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">and I had to pray to God that it wouldn’t eat me in my sleep!</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">I’m a little older now and still learning what I think </p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">about my depressive tendencies</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">But I know with all my heart that the same God </p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">that kept me alive then is the same one</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">Holds my hand when I’m weak,</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">And gives me hugs when I weep.</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman"> </p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">And I don’t want smoke to be the reason for my rock and roll,</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">I don’t want substance to be the reason my body bleeds!</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman"> </p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">“Prone to wander, Lord I feel it…”</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">but if you’d hold onto me</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">I promise I’ll do my best to keep on trying to believe!</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman"> </p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">“PRONE TO WANDER, LORD I FEEL IT!</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">Prone to leave the God I love.</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">Here’s my heart, Lord, take and seal it,</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">Seal it for your courts above.”</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman; min-height: 11.0px"><br /></p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman; min-height: 11.0px"><br /></p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">Ms. Lashe</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman; min-height: 11.0px"><br /></p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">The other day I saw this teddy bear with a smile...</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">Do you still call me "Teddy Bear" from up there, </p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">cause I can still see you smiling...</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">god, I would love to see that smile, and</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman; min-height: 11.0px"><br /></p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">God, I am a little bit jealous of you, because I know you get to.</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">I try to pray, every day, for her family, but sometimes</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">(maybe even most of the time) I forget to.</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">My little sister still cries so much sometimes</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">when she thinks about how much she misses you. </p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman; min-height: 11.0px"><br /></p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">And I'm a little bit jealous of that too, you know?</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">Cause I try so hard to lose all control </p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">and become as emotionally unstable as possible</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">so that I can feel like I'm feeling release. </p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman; min-height: 11.0px"><br /></p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">I remember the day I deleted your name from my phone...</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">it was hard, and I tried so hard not to cry, </p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">but I kept on accidentally calling you too many times after you died</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">cause I missed you, and in some unbelieving corner of my mind, </p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">I thought that you might be home. </p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman; min-height: 11.0px"><br /></p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">And I cannot believe that this is happening. </p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">You know it's things like this that make me doubt God, </p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">but I know that you never did when I whispered him to you. </p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">My God, what am I supposed to do?</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman; min-height: 11.0px"><br /></p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">I don't think you doubted him for a moment...</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman; min-height: 11.0px"><br /></p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">And if only we all had that faith, </p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">but I know so many of your friends that went straight to the bottle</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">to take the pain away - AND AS I TAKE ANOTHER SWALLOW</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">we are all collectively the same - </p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">I've got to keep myself inside this drunken state </p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">to make sure I remember your name when all other feeling floats away. </p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman; min-height: 11.0px"><br /></p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">The one thing that's haunting...</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">the one thing that's haunting me are your daddy's eyes.</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman; min-height: 11.0px"><br /></p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">Do you remember standing outside of your sister's apartment?</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">It was cold and it was nighttime and it was raining pretty hard:</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">the perfect cliche for a first kiss in the dark! </p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">FLASH BACK to me standing outside of your hospital door!</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">Your daddy grabbed me by the shoulder - said, "Son, she loved you!</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">and she missed you so much more than you know...</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">and there's no going back now. </p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">Are you sure that you want this to be the last memory that you have of her?"</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman; min-height: 11.0px"><br /></p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">The one thing that's haunting...</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">the one thing that's haunting is your daddy's smile, </p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">and the way that I still saw the pain in his eyes </p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">when I cried on his shoulder the same way that you used to cry on mine.</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman; min-height: 11.0px"><br /></p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">Said, "I may not be strong enough to let you go,</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">but I'm sure not so weak as to let you go without saying goodbye."</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman; min-height: 11.0px"><br /></p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">Is this really goodbye?</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman; min-height: 11.0px"><br /></p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">The one thing that's encouraging...</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">the one thing that still gives me strength are your daddy's eyes,</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">and the way that he maintained composure while the rest of us</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">broke down and cried. </p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman; min-height: 11.0px"><br /></p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">How do you do that?</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">He said, "Always remember her life."</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman; min-height: 11.0px"><br /></p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">So I will write my cheesy songs</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">that you said you always liked, </p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">and I will live to radiate the life that poured out from your insides, </p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">and I will try to smile the way you smiled,</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">you beautiful, beautiful, beautiful... beautiful child.</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">And if ever I forget, I know that you loved me all the while...</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman; min-height: 11.0px"><br /></p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">I saw a teddy bear the other day and it reminded me of you - </p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">o the end is heaven, and I know you are safe, and I can't wait to get to see you.</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman; min-height: 11.0px"><br /></p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman; min-height: 11.0px"><br /></p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">When I Go To Meet God</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman; min-height: 11.0px"><br /></p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">When I go to meet God <br />I'm gonna have to be honest...<br />I'm gonna have to tell the truth<br />not a day went by that I didn't doubt you.<br /><br />You always said, "Don't grow up too fast,<br />you're just a boy", <br />but it's better to be in the house of sorrow than the house of joy,<br />and if I could have a heart like David, that resembles yours,<br />then what are the odds Solomon's sadness <br />might have creeped in somewhere to even the score?<br /><br />Dear Dad, do you remember when I was always sad?<br />You and mom called it my "depressed year," and I know it was pretty bad...<br />What drives a child to want to give up everything he has?<br />What makes a person think that?<br />What makes a mother's son decide that death is better than tomorrow?<br />Inside of each and every breath that I "borrowed" <br />I held onto the sorrow and thought:<br /><br />"I'll never be able to repay Jesus with the way I live"<br />and now I'm thinking so much that I've screwed everything up<br />and I don't even know if you exist,<br /><br />so I may as well not exist.</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman"><br />So when I come to meet you<br />I'm gonna have to be honest<br />I'm going to tell the truth<br />not one day has gone by that I haven't doubted you.<br /><br />But I never told you both that I almost killed myself. I did.<br />I almost drove my car right off that highway bridge,<br />and as I picked up pace, prayed to God that he'd forgive me if I went through with it:<br />this is not a life worth living, I've already ruined it!<br /><br />Mom, dad, sister, friends, family - <br />if I never see you again I hope you live out your lives happily.<br />Give my dog a kiss of the lips and all of my writings go to Isaac -<br />man, the one's about me and you are not meant to be kept in private.<br />Make them your own and write your songs to inspire the world the way I wish that I did...<br /><br />Sister, you're beautiful, don't ever let them take that away.<br />Don't let yourself become just another face with no name.<br />Get to know Isaac better, you two can collaborate<br />(your voice is more beautiful than his has ever been, anyway)<br /><br />Mom, I'm sorry the last time we talked, we fought...<br />I'm just so sick of pretending to be somebody I'm not.<br />And years down the line when I am all but forgot, you were my last thought.<br /><br />And to finish the note before I get up to go, dad, I'm sorry I kept all this pain inside -<br />this will hurt you more than anyone else.<br />When I breathe my last I will pray that you can forget your past in all of this </p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 10.0px Times New Roman">and try not to blame yourself...<br /><br />I tried to find a reason to stay alive!<br />I love you all so much...<br />goodbye.<br /><br />God I'm coming to meet you now!<br />I suppose this decision doesn't display much trust, but<br />if you are real and really out there <br />then make me feel like I'm talking to something more than the ceiling!<br /><br />Dear mom, I'm getting better at writing happier things -<br />I know you'll never understand it but I'm attached to the sadness <br />and it rings true when I sing, and<br />there's a little bit of healing inside all of our suffering<br />as I have a savior that took up my suffering for me.<br />And as I drove down I-40 to collide with 25 <br />I swear to God something forgotten came alive to me inside <br />and this little memory sparked a reason to risk life one more night:<br /><br />on christmas morning I don't want my sister to wake up without her brother by her side!<br /><br />TEAR ME TO PIECES, MY SWEET SUICIDE!<br />For to die is gain, and to live is Christ so I will make you the apple of my eye...<br /><br />when I come to meet You<br />I'm going to come complete, as You have completed me.<br />I'm going to come whole<br />and I am begging to come happy... </p> </div>Levi The Poethttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09929278529243643890noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6519884933495835109.post-84181401422637374092009-08-23T16:50:00.000-07:002009-08-23T16:52:07.912-07:00LoveEverything we said we'd do to make this happen has fallen by the wayside.<br />I've let myself deteriorate into this stagnant person<br />that settles for less than his purpose.<br />And I've given you less than yours.<br />These keys that unlock the door to normality, they fit the locks so very, very perfectly,<br />and I let the comfort become commonplace to point that risk<br />was so null and void it didn't exist.<br />Every day I have someone screaming in my ear that life is not about feeling,<br />but it's hard to feel like listening when the voice is so pervasive that it becomes intrusive,<br />and yet still it echoes<br />through a verse,<br />through conversation,<br />from the pulpit,<br />from these prophetic mouths.<br />As it turns out, the little things aren't so little,<br />and the small things end up being bigger than you imagine<br />as you stop taking notice and let them slip away.<br /><br />Those little love notes were the things that made us shine,<br />but now you know I love you,<br />so I've stopped putting forth the time<br />to tell you anyway.<br /><br />Now that the butterflies are gone, it's hard to catch one in this jar,<br />and over the months I've compartmentalized the sections of my soul,<br />and built a solid rock wall around my heart.<br />There's a butterfly in each drawer, and each one might even still be alive,<br />but they haven't been able to play,<br />and I haven't let them fly…<br />So all of me is still living for you,<br />but somehow some of the pieces got separated ,<br />and a couple of them started holding record of wrongs,<br />and a couple of them got irritable,<br />and a couple of them started to feel abandoned,<br />and a lot of them forgot what it was like<br />before we became normal people and lost that infatuation.<br /><br />Those little acts of kindness are the things that keep us alive,<br />but now I know you love me,<br />so I've stopped putting for the effort,<br />and I can afford to be rude.<br /><br />None of these butterflies should have been allowed to fly away.<br />I should have kept a closer watch.<br />I should have let the sun in,<br />and we shouldn't have settled for normality<br />when then shadows started to turn<br />those beautiful bright wings a dull gray.<br />I swear I will act my way into feeling so that we can feel again<br />and so that we can love again<br />and so that we can fall in love again.<br /><br />Those little things that we let slip away will be what pull us back together,<br />and we know that we are in love,<br />and I cannot promise you perfection, but I can apologize for where I have failed,<br />and I can become vulnerable again,<br />and I can love you the way that you are meant to be lovedLevi The Poethttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09929278529243643890noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6519884933495835109.post-34949048682385644492009-08-07T16:20:00.000-07:002009-08-07T16:23:40.233-07:00I would plead with you to take the time for this...This makes me feel like the yellow guy in Sin City that Bruce Willis beats into a pool of blood. I was going to write a long reason for posting this video, but I will let it speak for itself, and I would implore you to take the time to allow yourself to be humbled by it. I do not think that there is another possible outcome. <div><br /></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(246, 194, 39); white-space: pre; font-family:'Lucida Grande';font-size:11px;"><object width="400" height="275"><param name="movie" value="http://www.marshillchurch.org/v/eaoqx8kw2tud"><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><param name="allowfullscreen" value="true"><embed src="http://www.marshillchurch.org/v/eaoqx8kw2tud" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true" width="400" allowscriptaccess="always" height="275"></embed></object></span><br /></div>Levi The Poethttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09929278529243643890noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6519884933495835109.post-81212704999671425152009-07-16T02:46:00.000-07:002009-07-16T02:48:19.516-07:00Tour<span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: verdana; font-size: 12px; line-height: 13px; -webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 2px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 2px; ">Tour has been fun... had a solid last couple of nights, and tonight we're in Coeur D’ Alene, Idaho at a place called Embyrs Venue, which is cool looking, with couches and checkered floors and more couches. The only drag about couches is that usually people sit in them, instead of dance, but whatever, you know? Whatever! <br /><br />The Lord has been doing some cool stuff in people's hearts over the last couple of days, including mine. A lot of people have been super encouraging and been super encouraged by some of my stuff, and it's a huge blessing, and a reminder that the Lord can work in a little 19 year old to legitimately touch hearts. <br /><br />So that's super cool. And I'm constantly reminded that that's what this is about - it's about the Lord speaking through my art and the bands' art and offering this love that I believe saves and that I can literally say saved me. <br /><br />So I've been journaling a lot, and trying to write out these prayers to keep my head in the right place and keep my heart focused on what's important in the midst of the stress that I'm feeling from other things in life, and know that God's will, will be done, and that that's a beautiful thing. <br /><br />So that's my prayer tonight, that someone would be blessed through this, and that love might shine through words that I never even dreamed would've been shared with anyone but me.</span>Levi The Poethttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09929278529243643890noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6519884933495835109.post-90586224559770754552009-07-12T22:32:00.000-07:002009-07-12T22:49:37.816-07:00OregonStayed in Eugene last night with my bestest friend Gage's mom. She's as crazy as he is. Or maybe, he's as crazy as she is. I definitely see where he gets his hyper-ness. <div><br /></div><div>Anyway, we went to a beach somewhere west of that and it was beautiful. </div><div><br /></div><div>I'm reading the Watchmen comic and it's awesome. I think it might be better than the movie (I loved the movie. I know most people didn't, but I did.). </div><div><br /></div><div>We've had the last two days off. One of the shows dropped. Tomorrow we have something in Spokane, WA. That'll be fun. ITMOL and I need to work something out for the intro to their set. I keep on playing in between bands during set changes, but that's really loud and stuff. I think that maybe if I can play one poem <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;">after</span> they sound check, into the intro, and one immediately following their set, then that would work well, but I don't know how well... whatever. </div><div><br /></div><div>Syrens just cancelled the August run that I was doing with them, which is a frickin drag, but it's alright. I wish that I had booked the run so that I could just get in touch with the promoters and rearrange the package with another headliner, but I can't, so... drag. </div><div><br /></div><div>The Lord will provide. I'm going to start writing more people about going out on tour with them and whatnot, and stay with In The Midst of Lions in the meantime. Maybe it will end up being a cool thing, if we can get the time frames worked out well. We'll see. I just love chillin with the guys regardless.</div><div><br /></div><div>I've gotta get a VE-HICLE, and soon, so that I can get around. </div><div><br /></div><div>The whole point of this entire blog was simply to say that Oregon is beautiful. Nothing else. </div>Levi The Poethttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09929278529243643890noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6519884933495835109.post-73124894823134055562009-07-10T10:36:00.000-07:002009-07-10T10:49:32.515-07:00New RecordingsSo I just posted a bunch of new recordings, and stuff. Check them out @ <a href="http://www.myspace.com/levithepoet">www.myspace.com/levithepoet</a>.<br /><br />Also, Hopecore Magazine did a story on the Levi the Poet project - you can check that out at <a href="http://www.hopecore.com/">www.hopecore.com</a>. There's a hyperlink on there to the July issue.<br /><br />First show of tour is tonight. Hope it goes well!<br /><br />Don't have much time on here, more later.<br /><br />Much love,<br />LeviLevi The Poethttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09929278529243643890noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6519884933495835109.post-21363447727154272362009-06-18T06:51:00.000-07:002009-06-18T08:30:32.021-07:00Persons and CensorshipSomething that I never really thought about in Proverbs is that the majority of the entire thing is addressed to "sons". I think that when I read the Bible, I get it stuck in my head that somehow the writers wrote it as if they were addressing or going to be addressing a million people... like a bulletin on myspace, or a blog, or a twit. <div><br /></div><div>Like, yeah! I'm going to write this and it's going to be written and addressed to a large audience and so I've gotta write <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;">for</span> the audience that's going to read it. I guess the best way to describe my thought process is selling advertisements. When you're working on ad sales and you write a "personal" email to the artist that says "Hey guys! How are you?" and you make it sound as personal as possible while still reaching a number of people. </div><div><br /></div><div>And I don't know why I seem to have it stuck in my head that the Bible is written like that, because it's not. And I didn't even realize that that's how I have it in my head until this morning. Because all these pastors and people always talk about deeply personal the book is, the books are, and I believe that, practically. I mean, hell, <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic; font-weight: bold;">I</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic; "> </span>talk about how deeply personal it is all the time. </div><div><br /></div><div>I guess what I really mean is that the dudes who wrote it, wrote it because they had a deep passion and burden for what they were saying, and, maybe more importantly, because they <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;">loved</span> the persons (and I use "persons" as opposed to "people" for a reason) that they wrote to in a profound way. </div><div><br /></div><div>And I realized this because of the first couple of words in the first couple of verses in the book of Proverbs, where David writes the letters that form the word "my son" - and then he goes on to say words like "listen" and like "do" and like "do not" and it's not because David is a jerkoff with a power trip that "wants to tell a whole bunch of people that will probably read his wonderful Godly book someday" - but <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;">it's because he loves Solomon</span>, his son, and his other sons, and he wants what's best for him. </div><div><br /></div><div>The coolest thing about this realization, for me, is that it brings a sense of personal relationship that has nothing to do with me, but has everything to do with a dad loving his kid, and telling him how to live practically. And it starts to feel like a conversation that my dad would have with me while we stand in the garage and talk about why I started smoking cigarettes. And he tells me that it's good to do certain things and not good to do certain things and he tells me that stuff because he loves me, not because he has an audience. He tells me the things he tells me because he has a deep desire to see me grow up in wisdom and godliness, and because there is a burden on his heart, as a father, as someone that loves someone, and not because I just happen to be standing there and so I might hear him and I might not. </div><div><br /></div><div>Maybe that doesn't make sense. Or maybe it makes sense because it's common sense and something that has already clicked with most everybody. I guess I just think it's cool because I've always said that it clicks with me, too, but I don't know if it really ever has. </div><div><br /></div><div>It wasn't written for the audience, like this blog is written for an audience, no matter how much I'd like to believe it's just written for me. Instead, it's written firstly out of a very personal love, and the audience came secondarily. </div><div><br /></div><div>And I guess that's something that's cool to me, too. That no one pulled any punches when they wrote that stuff. And why would they? If it's as deeply personal as we all say it is, then it would have to be real, right? I pull punches on this blog because if I were to say every single thing that I'm always thinking and feeling I would be scrutinized and questioned and that's something I'm not entirely comfortable with. But I feel like that's what people do. They pull punches in front of an audience because there might be people in the audience that won't like what they have to say, but if it's one on one between a father and a son, why would Pops censor himself or neglect to share everything that's on his heart? </div><div><br /></div><div>Maybe that's why I have so much respect for artists like Eminem. I may not believe in or agree with what the dude believes in or agrees with, but the fact is that the dude believes in and agrees with a lot of stuff and he says it, right? What's the infamous motto? <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;">"I just don't give a fuck!" </span> It may not be right or justified, but I think that I believe him when he says it. And a lot of people may or may not like Eminem because his music may or may not be good and he may or may not have a whiney voice and he may or may not complain constantly and blah blah blah, but the guy is honest, and he believes in what he does, and he says what he says, and he loves his daughter, and he's gone through trial and error of reconciling with his wife, ex wife, wife, ex wife, and he raps about personal life things that transcend the whole "sex, drugs, violence" rap thing. And there are plenty of other artists that do the same.</div><div><br /></div><div>I think that it clicked that the Bible is that kind of personal. The kind of thing that says what it says regardless of what people think about it. And while Eminem's lyrics may not be the best example I could have given... I think the point I'm trying to make is that censorship bugs me, and when I think of censorship, one of the things I think of is writing or saying things to massive amounts of people and holding back on what's really on your heart, or what you really want to say most, because somebody might not like it. </div><div><br /></div><div>And the Bible doesn't do that. It has all the elements of what rappers rap about. It has violence and sex and drugs and passion and love and relationships and fear and trust and instruction and poems and cussing and pleasure and futility and anger and death and life. It has life in that book. And yeah it has the "Eternal Life" but I'm talking about the "living-kind-of-what-we're-doing-now-life". </div><div><br /></div><div>And it's not written to me like a blogger would write to me, </div><div>it's written to me like my dad would talk to me. </div>Levi The Poethttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09929278529243643890noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6519884933495835109.post-81779344895865568822009-06-12T09:30:00.000-07:002009-06-12T09:51:41.330-07:00Sanctuary/MotorcyclesJesus stands with his mouth to the Father's ear, whispering on my behalf. <div><br /></div><div>How amazing is it that Jesus is for me? For us?</div><div><br /></div><div>I think that the most exciting thing, for me, as of now, at least, about building up some sort of consistency in plugging into the word of God, and taking advantage of the relationship that Jesus offers me, is that I no longer feel <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;">obliged</span> to care for and love others, but I <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;">desire</span> it. I get <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;">stoked</span> about being able to start the day and just <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;">be</span> with people and <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;">love</span> them and <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;">cherish</span> those blessings. I am becoming ever more thankful for the people I have around me, for those that I'm close to and for those that I've yet to meet. And I know that my relationship with God and others is not about <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;">feeling </span>and butterflies, but it's just so exciting when it <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;">does feel</span> that way. And it does. And it's noticeable to me. And it's AWESOME. </div><div><br /></div><div>More of the dates have been coming through on the July tour that I'm doing with In the Midst of Lions (www.myspace.com/inthemidstoflions) and All Or Nothing (www.myspace.com/aonmetal). There's a chance that I'll be doing some dates with a band called Syrens (www.myspace.com/syrenstx) in August, as well. I'm still just trying to figure it all out. Prayer request, though - there's a chance that I'm going to need to get to Denver in order to meet the band because they won't be able to come this far south to pick me up anymore. That wouldn't be a problem except that Veil Arms has a huge show the night before, and that's really my last chance to make any money before the run, and that makes getting to Denver really complicated. So, if you would, please pray with me that the planning with run - at least - relatively smoothly. </div><div><br /></div><div>I'm also in the process of selling my car. (Honda Accord - if anyone wants something cheap to drive with mewithoutYou lyrics all over it. I'm trying to get $400 out of it, but will probably settle for less.) A friend of mine has an old 80s Suzuki GS 750 cc for sale that he said is in good condition that he's selling for around the same price as I'm trying to get for my car, and said he'd help me get it top-notch so I don't die. So that's kind of what I'm thinking at the moment. Who knows. I'm the most indecisive person in the world. I can't even decide what kind of candy I want at the gas station. </div><div><br /></div><div>Can't really think of anything else to write. Thanks for loving me. If any of you have any prayer requests for me, I would love to keep them in mind. Just a thought. Message me if you don't want them all over the internet for everyone to see. I would be honored to pray for you. God knows I need it, too. </div><div><br /></div><div>Love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love, </div><div>Levi</div>Levi The Poethttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09929278529243643890noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6519884933495835109.post-53029450895194308482009-06-11T21:52:00.000-07:002009-06-11T21:54:56.835-07:00The LakersSo did anyone did the game tonight? <div><br /></div><div>Because I saw the game tonight. And I had a death threat from my best friend if the Lakers won. </div><div>And guess what?</div><div><br /></div><div>The Lakers won. </div><div><br /></div><div>Goodbye. </div>Levi The Poethttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09929278529243643890noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6519884933495835109.post-25950740415748943412009-06-05T10:05:00.001-07:002009-06-05T13:52:18.712-07:00Proverbs 1<div>What do you have to do in order to grow weeds?<br /></div><div><br /></div><div>Nothing! Now, you want to tend a garden that has fruitful harvest? </div><div>You're going to have to pull weeds every single day. You take a week or two off, you're right back to where you started.</div><div><br /></div><div>It's the same thing with the human heart. You have to pull weeds, you have to prune your harvest, every single day. </div><div><br /></div><div><div>"The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge, </div><div>but fools despise wisdom and discipline." </div><div><br /></div><div><div>You either fear God, and that's the beginning of wisdom, </div><div>or you don't, and that's the beginning of folly. </div></div></div><div><br /></div><div>"He who hates discipline hates knowledge."</div><div><br /></div><div>How can you hate God's knowledge, practically? What do you have to do to hate God's knowledge?</div><div>Just don't read the scriptures! "Well I'm not very good, I don't really read the scriptures ever."</div><div>Well that's because you hate knowledge. </div><div><br /></div><div>The reason that most people don't read scripture isn't because they don't understand it, but because they DO understand it and they don't like what it says. </div><div><br /></div><div>Mark Twain: "It's not the parts of the Bible that I don't understand that trouble me. It's the parts of the Bible that I don't understand that really trouble me."</div><div><br /></div><div>Do you love what God loves, and do you hate what God hates?</div><div>What does God love? God, the Father, loves the Son. So we should love the Son. </div><div>God loves wisdom and knowledge, and we should love wisdom and knowledge. </div><div><br /></div><div>And wisdom and knowledge are hidden where? In Christ!</div><div>So we should pursue Christ, and we should fear him, and what happens, when that happens, is that we will naturally start to love what God loves, and hate what God hates. </div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div>Thought maybe I'd start sharing a little bit of what I'm learning through this series that I'm listening to. Driscol on Proverbs. There's more, but I can't type fast enough. I really like the bit about pulling weeds. That's a very practical picture. Apparently I'm a picture person. </div>Levi The Poethttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09929278529243643890noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6519884933495835109.post-11896851674354263572009-06-04T16:58:00.000-07:002009-06-04T17:32:05.679-07:00California and a Prayer Request<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Two nights ago a friend of mine offered to buy me a bus ticket to California with him to live on the street for three weeks. I remembered that he offered me that two hours before the bus was leaving yesterday and called him and said I was going to come so my girlfriend, Brandi, gave me a sleeping bag and I packed a backpack said bye to my housemates and went to the station but the bus was full and the later buses were too much money, so I just came back to my house instead. </span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Needless to say, it was an emotional afternoon. </span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Me making that spontaneous of a decision really only leads me one conclusion, and that is that I am not happy where I am. I am not a particularly unhappy person in general, but I am stressed and depressed with the current state of living (i.e. - no money, not a whole lot of hope for money, not a whole lot of luck with a job, and not a whole lot of desire for a job because I'm restless and am pursuing tour plans soon, anyway). It's kind of like a big whirlpool of not-really-hopelessness-but-a-whole-lot-of-wondering. </span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Although I will say, Chad Johnson's "Come and Live" blog is incredible. He just posted something brand new on the topic of "Waiting on the Lord" (go figure) and it's incredibly encouraging. I strongly encourage everyone to check it out. (http://comeandlive.blogspot.com/)</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">I am not 100% sure how I feel right now, but I am sad that I'm not a bum in California. I've been struggling with some things that I've struggled with for years and it's the most annoying thing in this entire world, and it completely kills my walk with the Lord. Not because I don't feel like he'd still love to spend time with me, but because after you fail you get this little devil in your ear that says you're not worthy to spend time with him... </span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">So if anyone finds the time to lift me up in prayer for my anonymous request, I would absolutely invite and appreciate the spiritual help. For anyone that knows me and knows males and anything deeply personal that I write about, it won't take a rocket scientist to figure it out, anyway. </span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Life, </span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">as an open book. </span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">On a positive and exciting note, I met up with a "long-time-kind-of-friend" really randomly a couple of days ago (more like we ran into each other) - Donovan. And hopefully we will become "long-time-really-friends" soon. He's the worship leader at City on a Hill/Mars Hill Church and he was a very encouraging voice on a day that much needed it. Apparently he's leading a small group for the church and offered to have me a part of it, which is rad. Hopefully this will mean getting plugged in to a long-awaited, more personal accountability. It will be hit and miss, because of plans to tour, but it will be something. </span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">God is good. I believe this. I was reminded of something that I wrote a long time ago that will proceed this for anyone interested in reading it. It's kind of "emo" - if that's still a style, but I think I used to be pretty emo four years ago. I probably still am. Haha. And to those of you out there that love and pray for me, thank you. I hope you know I do the same. </span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></div><div><!--StartFragment--> <p class="MsoNormal" style="tab-stops:2.5in"><span><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">The Waltz</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><o:p></o:p></span></b></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="tab-stops:2.5in"><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="tab-stops:2.5in"><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">God I’ve no idea what to say to you</span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="tab-stops:2.5in"><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">But I feel like crying</span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="tab-stops:2.5in"><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">I’ve no idea how to tell you how I feel</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="tab-stops:2.5in"><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">I guess I don’t have to</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="tab-stops:2.5in"><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Hey, if the grass is greener on the other side</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="tab-stops:2.5in"><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">What happens once I hop the fence?</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="tab-stops:2.5in"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="tab-stops:2.5in"><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Anybody?</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="tab-stops:2.5in"><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">God, I’ve no idea how I feel inside</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="tab-stops:2.5in"><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">But I know you can make me right</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="tab-stops:2.5in"><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">If I could only reach out and touch</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="tab-stops:2.5in"><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Your footprint in the mud…</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="tab-stops:2.5in"><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">My fingertips are not worthy enough</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="tab-stops:2.5in"><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">If I could only reach out and touch</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="tab-stops:2.5in"><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">The hem of your cloak…</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="tab-stops:2.5in"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="tab-stops:2.5in"><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">God, I’m trying to imagine a smile on my face</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="tab-stops:2.5in"><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">I remember you thought it was beautiful</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="tab-stops:2.5in"><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">If the grass is greener on the other side</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="tab-stops:2.5in"><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">I must not be seeing you</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="tab-stops:2.5in"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="tab-stops:2.5in"><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">I’ve no idea how to make this sound believable but…</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="tab-stops:2.5in"><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">I love you</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="tab-stops:2.5in"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="tab-stops:2.5in"><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">If I could do something to prove it, I would</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="tab-stops:2.5in"><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Listen, it’s raining so hard now</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="tab-stops:2.5in"><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">And I still can’t force myself to dance</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="tab-stops:2.5in"><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="tab-stops:2.5in"><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Jesus, teach me the waltz</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="tab-stops:2.5in"><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">I can’t do this alone</span><o:p></o:p></span></p> <!--EndFragment--> </div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div>Levi The Poethttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09929278529243643890noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6519884933495835109.post-91388372943780701142009-06-01T01:36:00.000-07:002009-06-01T01:50:43.426-07:00A Way Out<div>No matter what the temptation, the Lord is faithful, and he will always provide you with a way out. That's right, isn't it? </div><div><br /></div><div>"But she's screaming at me from that screen!?</div><div>"But it's just too hard to say 'no!'" </div><div>"But, but, but..."</div><div><br /></div><div>Man, the crappiest thing ever is when you're in the middle of some sort of thing that you're not supposed to be in the middle of, whatever it is, and you hear that conscience screaming in your head: "This is your way out. Don't do this. You can still <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;">not</span> do this. I can help you pull away." <br /></div><div><br /></div><div>And you're like, "Yeah, well one more time won't hurt."</div><div><br /></div><div>And your conscience, your spirit inside you says, "Well it's hurting me." </div><div><br /></div><div>And you ignore it like you do every single time cause that instant gratification is just so within your grasp. It's so frickin' enticing, and I'm</div><div><br /></div><div>so</div><div>used</div><div>to</div><div>giving</div><div>it</div><div>what</div><div>it</div><div>wants</div><div>.</div><div><br /></div><div>God! I can't bear this crap anymore. </div><div>"Once an addict, always an addict."</div><div><br /></div><div>No matter what the temptation, the Lord is faithful, and he will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you can bear. Isn't that right?</div><div><br /></div><div>Yeah, Lord, well step aside. I believe you, but I'm strong enough to resist this on my own. </div><div>"Thanks, but no thanks."</div><div><br /></div><div>I'll come running back to you once I've failed again and I need a favor. </div>Levi The Poethttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09929278529243643890noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6519884933495835109.post-3744348831825615252009-05-21T10:36:00.000-07:002009-06-01T19:48:46.788-07:00The answer to how a horny guy is supposed to stay pure when girls at concerts run around naked:<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg0dYwdZvCGXzB-kJzAC3i4_qb51upkTR0g9pRwysj0WpuzAsI6Ey4pxx-qPthcg6aIs4YTBKqgpIluu2XDgo5cRs46VZYAQVzoFM7Hh3nCvWMxuE0RuZObrwrtNtjAUC4lAKlARUwuL4ek/s1600-h/MDFodHRwOi8vczUyOC5waG90b2J1Y2tldC5jb20vYWxidW1zL2RkMzI2L2xldml0aGVwb2V0Lz9hY3Rpb249dmlldyZjdXJyZW50PWxfNTcwNDFjNGE3MWNhNDFmYTlhMmJjYTcyY2ZmZjhjODAuanBn.jpg"><img style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 267px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg0dYwdZvCGXzB-kJzAC3i4_qb51upkTR0g9pRwysj0WpuzAsI6Ey4pxx-qPthcg6aIs4YTBKqgpIluu2XDgo5cRs46VZYAQVzoFM7Hh3nCvWMxuE0RuZObrwrtNtjAUC4lAKlARUwuL4ek/s400/MDFodHRwOi8vczUyOC5waG90b2J1Y2tldC5jb20vYWxidW1zL2RkMzI2L2xldml0aGVwb2V0Lz9hY3Rpb249dmlldyZjdXJyZW50PWxfNTcwNDFjNGE3MWNhNDFmYTlhMmJjYTcyY2ZmZjhjODAuanBn.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5342506422269996834" /></a><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Garamond; ">~ if he has a beautiful and pure girlfriend named Brandi, that's how.</span><br /></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:Garamond;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:Garamond;">YOU'RE SCREWED! </span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:Garamond;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:Garamond;"><br /></span></div>Levi The Poethttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09929278529243643890noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6519884933495835109.post-10444507098205426022009-05-20T20:48:00.000-07:002009-06-01T16:32:09.179-07:00The Community and its Workers<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjys-Ivco_5odbjgvNrP9oheszoO8eoROmsTVQhZTVM6Kch3gouiqB8yk3ZnLeHrYNUTVuBf4gWVMjd9LdsJIXpgfVY_oH6S3_xEjNDgPUdFovX7Gin0-d6FTXRm1z44IVdwOj3oTQ-Jqx-/s1600-h/worker-bees.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 214px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjys-Ivco_5odbjgvNrP9oheszoO8eoROmsTVQhZTVM6Kch3gouiqB8yk3ZnLeHrYNUTVuBf4gWVMjd9LdsJIXpgfVY_oH6S3_xEjNDgPUdFovX7Gin0-d6FTXRm1z44IVdwOj3oTQ-Jqx-/s320/worker-bees.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5342505958375256162" /></a><div><center><p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 12.0px Helvetica"></p><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia; font-size: 14px; ">So I talked to Chase, who is the awesome person that gave me a chance in his studio back when I recorded that first demo to take to HM with me, and he's going to get me back in to record the entire album that I'd like to get pressed by mid-month. I know I've said this two million times over the last eight months (holy crap I can't believe it's been that long), but it's actually going to happen. I got a couple tour offers (which I'm excited about) for July and on, and I want to have something to take out with me. </span><br /></div><p></p></center></div><div><br /></div><div>I realize a spoken word CD shouldn't be as complicated as I'm making it, and it will probably be a lot less than what I've talked it up to be for me, but I'm excited about it. So there it is. Expect some new recordings and posted dates to be up around the middle/end of next month. I'm excited to finally get out on the road with some people. We'll see how the rest of people that don't live in my hometown respond. </div><div><br /></div><div>The church that I'm in love with in ABQ - City on a Hill - is going to become a satellite campus for Mark Driscol's Mars Hill officially in July. It's kind of a bittersweet thing, because I love the pastor here, but in all honesty, I fell in love with Driscol's pastoral abilities last year and have been listening to him ever since. But I'm finally getting plugged in there, which is something that I've wanted to do for years (literally, unfortunately), but haven't because I've been following my girlfriend around to other churches that she's more interested in. Not to say that's a bad thing, the Lord can work through whatever means necessary to speak into our lives, and I don't believe it's about the place anyway, and I think that making a mutual church a part of our relationship is more important than which church it is. However, I've felt the Lord pulling my heart towards City on a Hill since I've lived here, and I'm very excited to finally call it home. </div><div><br /></div><div>The other day Bruscas (the pastor now) did this teaching on how God will hold me responsible for what I do (and don't do, for that matter). And in what I do, I may very find myself screwing up everything, but God is sovereign in those imperfections, and he has the ability to transcend all decisions and - essentially - make all things good for those that love him. And if I allow him, God will heal me. Here's a couple things that I pulled out of that:</div><div><br /></div><div>Don't let your hearing become dull, don't let your heart become calloused. And let the question, "AM I RECONCILED TO GOD?" be a question that keeps me awake at night. </div><div><br /></div><div>I thought this was an interesting point to make, because I just listened to this teaching by Driscol that was about Proverbs and the heart, and how all things flow from the heart, and how simple it is to let my heart become calloused, which causes an outflow of sin that is a direct result of my insufficiencies, and unable to be blamed on anyone else. </div><div><br /></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;">And that</span> is interesting, because both of these teachings were about community. Driscol said that "there is a direct result between the condition of the human heart, the living of the human life, and the forming of human cultures." And we want our culture to reflect the kingdom of God among us. And how do we know that the kingdom of God is among us? Bruscas said the picture the Bible paints of this community is one composed of rightness among us. Of loving and treating each other in right relationship, which will result in joy. </div><div><br /></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;">And all of this</span> reminded me of a book called Sex God by a dude name Rob Bell, and he said simply:</div><div><br /></div><div>"With every decision that we make, we are either inviting heaven or hell to earth."</div><div><br /></div><div>And somehow that line has always stuck with me and I've always thought that was beautiful, because it's so simple, and it seams like such a wonderful, understandable concept in light of where we are to be in relation with our hearts, relationships and communities. </div><div><br /></div><div>I don't know if any of that makes sense at all, or if I just rambled on for a very long time, but somewhere in my head I think that these things came together in some sort of way that flicked the switch on a light-bulb that I've forgotten about, and I'm excited and thankful to Jesus for that. </div><div><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;">There is work to be done. </span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;">I am a worker,</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;">and God has gifted me with the responsibility</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;">of working as unto him.</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;">And the harvest is great, </span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;">but the workers are fighting.</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;">But I want to participate </span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;">in the advancement of the kingdom of God. </span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;"><br /></span></div>Levi The Poethttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09929278529243643890noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6519884933495835109.post-43983566275643175172009-05-05T00:14:00.000-07:002009-05-05T00:15:32.552-07:00So Long, my Lord<!--StartFragment--> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">So long </span></span><span style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">a</span></span><span style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">s we are</span></span><span style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"> l</span></span><span style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">ost in the shadows</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style=""><span style="mso-tab-count:1"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Your memory wi</span></span><span style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">l</span></span><span style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">l fade into the ash beneath our feet.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">So long as we wallow in our self importance</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left:.5in"><span style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Your pricelessness will be buried beneath our egotistical mindset.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">So long as we sink in our pocketfuls of power</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left:.5in"><span style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Y</span></span><span style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">our g</span></span><span style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">o</span></span><span style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">lde</span></span><span style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">n</span></span><span style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"> streets will re</span></span><span style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">l</span></span><span style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">inquish beneath the hierarchy of our currenc</span></span><span style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">y</span></span><span style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">So long a</span></span><span style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">s</span></span><span style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"> sameness defines our accep</span></span><span style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">ta</span></span><span style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">nce into society</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left:.5in"><span style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Your uniqueness will be doused in the fumes of our cultures’ favorite hair dye.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">So lon</span></span><span style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">g</span></span><span style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"> as morality is drown</span></span><span style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">e</span></span><span style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">d in the perver</span></span><span style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">s</span></span><span style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">ity o</span></span><span style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">f</span></span><span style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"> the latest fashi</span></span><span style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">o</span></span><span style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">n </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent:.5in"><span style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">statement You</span></span><span style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">r</span></span><span style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"> purity will do the sam</span></span><span style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">e</span></span><span style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">So long </span></span><span style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">a</span></span><span style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">s Your gift is mistaken for reward</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left:.5in"><span style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Your death will lose all meaning in the regulations of religiosity.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">So long as we remember ourselves</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style=""><span style="mso-tab-count:1"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">You will be forgotten.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">So long, my Lord.</span><o:p></o:p></span></p> <!--EndFragment-->Levi The Poethttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09929278529243643890noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6519884933495835109.post-37323428175257240582009-05-03T09:26:00.000-07:002009-05-03T10:05:25.024-07:00Oh The BloodOne of my best friends - Gage Speas - left ABQ yesterday morning to move to Kentucky to join the band "Oh The Blood" (www.myspace.com/ohthebloodband). Be sure to check those guys out. It was funny - me and all my friends just acted all pissed at him and told him we hope his dreams fail so that he comes back home to us. Haha. I'm super excited for him - chasing those dreams. The Lord is opening doors for him, and I'm happy that he's walking through them. <div><br /></div><div>The tour that I booked is finally over. It ended this previous Thursday. Good God, those last couple of months were probably the most stressful times I've ever encountered with that tour, among other things. In the Midst of Lions are incredible guys, all of them - ITMOL, All Or Nothing, In Separate Cities and Tristan Betrayal - all incredible guys. I appreciate all of them so much for going out on the VA Tour. (We're friends... if you ever read this, thank you, you guys are beautiful people.)</div><div><br /></div><div>I started reading Searching for God Knows What by the notorious D. Miller for probably the second or third time this last week. That book (other than the Gospel) is probably the most influential book that I've ever read in regards to my spiritual "walk" ("Christianese") and overall forming of opinions about my relationship with God, and other people, for that matter. </div><div><br /></div><div>Anyway, so there's that. And I've been learning some new stuff and re-learning some old stuff through that. Pretty much, I picked up that book because I don't even know where to start in the Bible, which is what I'd like to be excited about reading, but I'm just not. </div><div><br /></div><div>Or, I <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;">wasn't. </span>But I picked up Proverbs last week and I'm still not thrilled about it, but it's growing on me and honestly it's just completely stupid how relevant that book is when you pick it back up again. It's like - okay - what am I going to read? Pick up Proverbs. </div><div><br /></div><div>Gain wisdom. </div><div>Listen to good counsel.</div><div>Pay heed to your parent's insight.</div><div>Stay away from the immoral woman. </div><div>Loyalty. </div><div>Accepting correction. </div><div><br /></div><div>Okay cool then well how's about we speak directly and forcefully into all of the exact places that would probably be fantastic for me to learn about? Freakin' A. But you know I can't help but smile about stuff like this. I'm not a big believer in the whole "well for my personal Bible studies I just close my eyes and flip the Bible open and point and then read for five minutes from there" - but it was cool knowing that the Lord had something to say to me and he guided me there when I didn't know where to start. </div><div><br /></div><div>So my car's broken down right now. I need a new battery, I think, but I can't afford a new battery, so I'm investing in used Craigslist bike tires and I'm going to get in shape which is a lot better than driving anyway. I am going to tour this summer. I don't know how. I want to pull a little hobo thing for a while and hitchhike around and travel - I think that I would just like to split, basically. I'm working on some new material and have talked to a couple people about throwing down some recordings for the demo (which I'm probably going to have to go into debt to do, but what artist doesn't, right?) and getting that out. Top priority. TOP. (Other than rent...)</div><div><br /></div><div>Veil Arms is going well though. We have A Plea for Purging and whole bunch of amazing bands on that package this... uh... Tuesday. At Telos House. If ya'll would like to come down that would be fantastic. I'm really excited about that show. </div><div><br /></div><div>So this poem came out of my Proverbs readings:</div><div><br /></div><div>BE THE CHANGE...</div><div><br /></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Garamond; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">...said vipers! tigers!<br />reassemble, rearrange!<br />(i long to live as a lion so i violently tuff up my mane)<br />oh high king of heaven,<br />my victory won!!<br />(but i could still taste the soot in my lungs<br />when that chorus was finally sung)<br />i called you so often, but you never came<br />i reached out to you! but you paid no attention<br />and as wisdom shouts out into the noisy streets<br />i will cusp my ears tight in stubborn pretension<br />("how terrible for you who lie awake at night, thinking up evil plans")<br />BARREL LOADED!!! (to your brother...)<br />Abel! run for cover!<br />if you tilt, i tilt your world in my hands -<br />take up my life with fraud and violence, and serpent i will meet your demands!<br /><br />bag lady, you know I heard you sing and<br />(or rumor has it) you believed in me<br />...and december's finally set me free... <br />(but Mary! i've forgotten just what it means to breathe!)<br />and as she held baby jesus so very closely (to her bosom, to her soul)<br />i will cling tightly to my demons in the dark and imagine what it's like<br />to be<br />entirely<br />whole!!!!<br /><br />singers, did you feel the ground shake beneath you<br />when your mustard seed fell deep in dark soil?<br />but i called out "TORTURE!" amongst the scoffers<br />(and though the ground is once more fertile)<br />i recoil...<br /><br />...I RECOIL!!!...<br /><br />and as his mother's blood begins to boil,<br />(and as we pollute god's lips with gin and oil)<br />i've ne're witnessed such turmoil<br /><br />as when his heart reflected mine! (and, oh, on that note, my god died)<br /><br />be the change!<br />said mother, father,<br />brother, sister, son, daughter,<br />i come to you (the porno pauper) with understanding in my open hands<br />and a tired knowledge in my eyes<br />(if this beauty is so sacred, how does it sell so fast?) <br />i still remember the first time i died ... <br />-and oh so unknowingly- gave it a second try<br /><br />BUT LOVE IS PATIENT!!! LOVE IS KIND!!!<br />and somewhere amongst this mishap i was allowed to survive<br /><br />be the change, said angels, demons,<br />reassemble, rearrange!<br />i long to live as a lion<br />so i study him studying me violently tuff up my mane...</span></span><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div>Levi The Poethttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09929278529243643890noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6519884933495835109.post-91139635812829023322009-04-28T19:58:00.001-07:002009-04-28T19:58:55.736-07:00Today's MusingsFirst of all, Creed is getting back together. I can't imagine the flak I'll get from people for saying this, but Creed was my favorite band in Mid-High, and if they come anywhere near me, I'm freakin' going.<br /><br />Secondly... Creed is getting back together.<br /><br />Thirdly... Scott Stapp shaved his head. What if Creed came back as a hardcore band and he did two-steps on stage?<br /><br />On a serious note, I have been super, incredibly, undeniably lethargic in my relationship with the Lord, and I'm frickin sick of it and ashamed of it. It pisses me off, if you want to know the truth. I miss my first love, and I was talking to him about it a couple of minutes ago, and felt the strongest essence of the words:<br /><br />"WELL THEN FREAKIN DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT, LEVI! I MISS YOU TOO!"<br /><br />My friend Oscar today told me "Seek first the kingdom of heaven..." and I just can't help but think that that piece of advice, which should be first in my mind, has been buried , or I've been ignoring it.<br /><br />And so I am going to spend to time with Jesus again, because I'm at a loss for any other options. I was reading a blog today by a dude named Chad Johnson. He owns a label called Come and Live (which you should check out) and here's the link to the blog he wrote:<br /><br />http://comeandlive.blogspot.com/<br /><br />The blog entitled "Anxiety is not my friend" is what did it for me - the kicker; the clincher, maybe.<br /><br />I love you guys - if any of you would like to help keep me accountable as to what I've been doing or will be trying to do in my relationship with God, that would be fantastic - Lord knows I need it. I'll try my best to send out updates of what has been going on. Maybe getting all of this out in the open will help me.<br /><br />Not to be frickin' vulnerable or anything.<br /><br />Love you,<br />LeviLevi The Poethttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09929278529243643890noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6519884933495835109.post-50724114661424838052009-04-27T15:06:00.000-07:002009-04-28T19:08:29.326-07:00Mean Everything to NothingI've been listening to the new Manchester Orchestra album over and over and over and over and it's really good. <div><br /></div><div>You should listen to it, too. </div><div><br /></div><div>I went to see Korn last night, which is pretty random but it was a really good show. I think they all must hate each other though - there was absolutely no band-member interaction whatsoever. Like, none. They all just minded their own business and ignored one another. Maybe that's just how they are, but you'd think they'd at least - uh - mingle. </div><div><br /></div><div>Put in an application to Starbucks ... again. I don't know how well I did on the interview, honestly, cause I couldn't care less whether I get it or not. I need it, I suppose, because I need the money - which should probably mean that I should care, but I just can't muster the energy. I think that if I don't get it I will just push ahead with full force on touring. </div><div><br /></div><div>Actually maybe I'll do that regardless. I don't want to be THAT employee that gets the job and then quits, but I don't really want to be an employee their again regardless. </div><div><br /></div><div>Unfortunately, money is a necessity, so I think that I hope that I get it anyway. </div><div><br /></div><div>I'm an incredible decisive person, obviously. </div><div><br /></div><div>Played a show this weekend in Flagstaff... That was really fun. Came out breaking even and got to hang out with friends there - what could be better? The Heavy Tour is almost done and then after that I'm freakin' done with booking except for a couple small things here and there, and I'm so happy about that. It's bittersweet, because I want to be able to bless the bands that I wanted to do touring for, but I just can't. Veil Arms just can't. </div><div><br /></div><div>I started reading SEARCHING FOR GOD KNOWS WHAT by Donald Miller for the second or third time, and I'm really excited about that. That is probably the most influential book that I've ever read in relation to what I think about human spirituality and the way that I want to conduct my "walk" with the Lord (there's that Christian-ese there). I strongly suggest it - to everyone. </div><div><br /></div><div>I just finished reading Pet Sematary. That was good, but creepy, but good. </div><div><br /></div><div>Wow, this journal entry sucks. I'll write later when I have something worthwhile to say. </div><div><br /></div><div>LOVELOVELOVE</div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div>Levi The Poethttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09929278529243643890noreply@blogger.com0